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Morning After Report: 90210 Episode 21 'The Dionysian Debacle'

The sky's the limit, kiddies!
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So, uh... Yawn. Yeah. While none of the eps of the new 90210 are prize-worthy, this week's was kind of a bad fit. You know, like something your Mom sewed for you and then made you wear to school. Awkward! The dream sequence is a cheap trick to play on your audience, so this is where we begin, with Navid and Adrianna playing out their "Happy Family" fantasy--you know, Navid pureeing organic veggies for the baby (that isn't actually his) while his teenage bride beams on. The fantasy is intercut with real-life Navid and Ade chillin' on the steps of West Bev (the more I think about it, that school sure had one hell of a makeover in the past decade) arguing about typical stuff: What to name the baby, if it's a boy or a girl, yadda yadda yadda. Silly kids.

Navid also wants to name the boy Habib and believes that his parents, after a minor hissy fit, will agree to have the newlywed teen parents live in the guest house and provide complimentary familial babysitting services. Yeah, uh huh, sure, right. We know this bubble is going to burst sooner or later. My guess is sooner. This show is really good at setting 'em up and paying 'em off within a tidy 44 minute span.

It's also tops at cramming in way more story than one needs to digest ahead of the intro sequence. So what do we learn over the next eight minutes before we can rock out to the re-tooled theme music?