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Morning After Report: 90210 Episode 7 'Hollywood Forever'

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...in which the students of West Beverly Hills High (and their parents and teachers) have the most fun participating in an anachronistic recreational activity since "Bowling!"

Things must have gotten a little kicky in the writers' room the day the creative brain trust behind last night's shiny new ep of 90210 got together and realized they were going to have to pen an entire show using only new characters. That's right, Kelly Taylor has taken a two-week leave to haul her tow-headed bastard to Wyoming to potentially reconvene with the Almighty Dylan McKay, Brenda Walsh is through with philanthropic musical directing and may or may not be hanging out with her brother Brandon in another zip code, Nat is probably trying to figure out how to make a low-carb sugar-free peach pie, and Jackie Taylor is, well, let's face it, drunk.

Somehow the team behind "Hollywood Forever" ignored the giant stenciled lettering on the hallway wall of West Bev screaming "CREATIVITY" and took us right off the bat to territory we first grew to love in the era of Saved By the Bell as we learn the students must pair up and pretend to be married with a baby for some sort of health class. The contemporary "Vote no on Prop 8" twist? One couple is same sex! Yawn. Don't drop the baby, kids. Or, like, leave the baby in a corner. Because you'll fail. And the writers will get to make a bad joke. (Oops, too much foreshadowing? My bad.)