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Morning After Report: 90210 Episode 13 'Love Me or Leave Me'

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I will hand it to the writers of 90210 this week for one thing, and one thing only: Their accuracy with the weather. It's really the only "local" reference on the show this episode, and unlike anachronistic bowling, Hollywood Bowl show-going, and cemetery movie-watching, it's eerily correct. See, there's a blizzard in Kansas and a heatwave in LA. Okay, they got the heatwave part right. We learn this as there's this kooky three-screen (not three way!) between Annie, Ethan, and...Annie's Mom. Yeah, before the kids can get to any heavy phone petting, Mom picks up the line and tells Annie to hang up and go to bed. We do, however, get treated to the opening moments of what could be some kind of nasty jailbait fantasy involving a black negligee. It's hot. The weather. It's hot. Remember, heat wave? Yeah.But then Ethan drops the three-little-words bomb: "I love you." Annie (because she's so coy) bites her lip, giggles, and says "I love you to." (I vomit.)

The next morning, Grandma gets a little rich Bev Hills diva and pull off the act of sticking up for her grandchildren (they shouldn't have to do chores), and, in a perverse way, her "staff" (they get paid to do chores). Mom wigs out. Those damn kids will take out the trash because it's good for them!

Once they do make it to school, Annie and Ethan meet up and very obviously need to GET A ROOM. Some serious hallway face-eating. Charming. Silver breezes through on her soapbox with Dixon: "But the Santa Ana Winds do not blow in January!" Something like: Apocalypse, Global Warming, An Inconvenient Truth, yadda yadda. She spots the lip-locked and her gag reflex is activated: "Oh looky them, all 'love you!' and 'love you too!' Silver is as grossed out as I am.

Now, down the hall, Navid is doing something school-ish in the journalism room (paging Andrea Zuckerman!) and he's about to become this week's token tool. Why? Well, there's two reasons: There's what actually happens, and then there's the fact that the writers of the show really fail in this respect.