Malingering

Last night's game was an exciting evening filled with cracked bats and ass cracks. Where to start, where to start? There's just so much to look at. Okay, we'll go in alphabetical order. She must be a Cardinals fan because she's showing all of us her Pujol....

Well, at least now we know. Dodgers pitching staff, take note. Give up 7 runs, you can stay in the game. Give up 7 runs and then giving up another hit and Grady picks up the phone to the bullpen. Oh wait, our long reliever is now our starter because Schmidt is on the DL. That's okay. We'll call in Saenez. Rudy comes in and next thing you know it's 8-0 in the 3rd...

I am probably in the minority here, and I couldn't care less. I am sick and tired of these solid as a rock tittie implants that women in LA are boldly carrying around on their chests like camels with cement humps. There are a fair number of people who believe I have some sort of implant fetish because I feel the need to shout "LOOK FAKE BOOBS!" whenever I see them (as if the...

The Yeti boots are rebelling against me. I write one little article about them and now they have mutated, grown wheels, and are preparing to take over Los Angeles. Take cover people. This is your warning....

It was an interesting night in Los Angeles. A community generally lost to each other in the confines of Bluetooth headsets and commuter traffic united in a somewhat macabre spectacle: watching Griffith Park burn. Griffith Park on fire: a photo essay...

Today we will look at one of my least favorite fashion occurrences. This has been going on for far too long, and I have lost the self-control to tolerate it. As with all moronic fashion trends, for months I patiently photographed the idiocy and awaited its disappearance. The problem we face today is that the Sausage Mc Muffins simply are not going away. So I must ask you Los Angeles: how can we eliminate...

There is no better reason to call in sick to work than a Dodgers mid-week day game. So that's just what I did. To make the whole experience even better, the Dodgers won a close one to the joy of everyone except the 3 Arizona fans in the crowd. Ha ha, too bad for them, who's leading the division now, you Sedona wearing punks?...

Hmmm. What should we do? I know, let's kick some Diamondback backside!...

Being a natural born cynic, this is hard to say and even harder to do. But the Dodgers did played a 5 hour long game on Sunday and pulled off a win over the Padres, so I will try to hide my disappointment about getting killed 9 to 1 on Monday night by the Diamondbacks, who are now up on the Dodgers by half a game....

The Dodgers were swept. I was also yelled at by 3 traffic cops on my way to the stadium. Juan Pierre missed the sign for the squeeze. I had to look at Barry Bonds. Nomar represented the tying run with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th and he struck out to end the game on his own bobblehead night. I don't really want to talk about it right now. So instead I offer...