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Bobbleheads and other things that make your eyes roll

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The Dodgers were swept. I was also yelled at by 3 traffic cops on my way to the stadium. Juan Pierre missed the sign for the squeeze. I had to look at Barry Bonds. Nomar represented the tying run with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th and he struck out to end the game on his own bobblehead night. I don't really want to talk about it right now.

So instead I offer you a photo essay entitled:
What I Saw While I Waited For My Friend To Show Up With Our Tickets

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I call this one: Chavez Ravine Village People

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And here we have a cocky jackass Giants fan (aren't they all?)

The idiot thinks no one will be able to see him to throw beer all over his head because he has his camo pants on which make him invisible. Duh, camo at Dodger Stadium has to be blue!

And he's wearing a cape, like he's Super Duper Jackass Giants fan. The best part is, the cape is actually a towel from the 2002 World Series. You know, the one the Giants played in. AND LOST???

Who walks around celebrating the fact that they were in the World Series and lost (especially after game 6, what an embarrassment)? Does he think the magic of their loss to the rally monkeys is enough to give his cape the power to fly? Think again my invisible friend.

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Gratuitous cleavage shots (I can't help it, they just jumped out at me) - watch me as I use their over-exposed breasts to expand my target population out deeper into the sex offender realm. (I would go into the irony of self-objectification but I am too tired right now, save it for another day when I have more words). Onward HO!

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I think if I had been in a motorcycle accident and lost half of my clothing to the asphalt trying to get into the parking lot, I probably would have turned around and gone home regardless of whose bobblehead was being given out. But some are stronger than I, and they persevere despite missing half a shirt and destroying their pants.

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This one actually got in his time machine and traveled across 5 decades just to see the Dodgers play their bitter rivals. Maybe he was actually around when the Dodgers and Giants made the move to California and he asked to be cryogenically frozen, only to be defrosted for a rematch of this long lived rivalry. Talk about dedication!

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I may be the product of a mixed-race marriage and I generally try to avoid prejudices in my daily life, but this has just gone too far. This should be against the law.

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I was really hoping for a fight between these two. I even tried instigating a bit. It never happened, but not for a lack of effort on my part.

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Hmmm... wonder what you have there in the red plastic cup? You are so tricksy! What a brilliant way around the tailgating rule! (I am going to purchase camo cups for my next tailgating party, then the drinks will be completely invisible and I won't be harassed by the highlighter people in the parking lot.)

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Then again, these fans show their courage by not only being brash enough to walk around in Giants gear, but to carry rather visible beer at the same time. Did they do away with that open container law or did some wormhole send us to Vegas? Just asking, geez.

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And what do you know? Jim Morrison showed up as well as I'm-a-little-schoolgirl gone bad a la Britney. The crowd spanned decades of fine music; baseball brings us all together as one. Like We Are The World, but without Cyndi Lauper.

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And let us not forget M.C. Hammer, whose contribution to the fashion industry will simply never die. Can't touch this, Mo' Fo'.

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This Giants fan must have taken my advice from last week and decided to use her boobies as protection (or at least a distraction) from the angry Dodger fans. I can't think of any other reason you would wear this to a ballpark, so this is the only possible explanation. Thanks for reading LAist, Miss Giants Fan! Come back soon!

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This guy did NOT take my advice, and brought a goddamn broom into enemy territory. I warned him that Dodger Stadium does not allow brooms to be carried into the stadium. I did not tell him that this wasn't necessarily applicable to his situation as there was a high probability that broom would be shoved far up his ass by the time he got to the entrance.

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What I learned tonight: Dodger Dogs + Camachos Nachos make you fart stars. Who knew?

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All photos were taken at Dodger Stadium on April 26, 2007 by yours truly, Malingering.