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Vegan Breast Milk Lollipops Taste Like a Sweet Nipple Tipple

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An Austin, Texas-based candy company called Lollyphile launched a new flavored candy today that is turning heads: breast milk lollipops.

The company maintains that the candies don't actually contain any real breast milk, and are in fact vegan. But vegan parent's shouldn't be confused; these pops are made mostly of sugar and corn syrup and are hardly sustenance for a child. (Last thing we need is another case like this one.)

For $10, you can get four breast milk pops, a dozen for $24 and a case of 36 for $58.

Jason Darling, the owner of Lollyphile, said that he came up with the idea for the lollipop because all of his friends were having babies, and he was mesmerized by how the kids could morph from a seismic temper tantrum into a blissed out baby after a tipple off the nipple.

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In an interview with the L.A. Times, he said he went through several rounds of testing personally, trying breast milk from four of his friends who were new mothers.

“I knew I had to capture that flavor," he said in a press release. "Any company can make up nostalgic flavors," said Darling of the breast milk lollies. "We'd like to think that we're tapping into a flavor our customers loved before they even knew how to think."

We think this idea might have come along before the creators might have known how to think themselves. Sounds pretty freaking nasty.


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