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Vegan Parents Get Life Sentence for Baby's Death

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When we heard that a Georgia couple were sentenced to prison yesterday for the death-by-vegan-diet of their infant son, we got a little bit pissed off: "DAMN VEGANS and their DAMN DIETARY RESTRICTIONS! Now they're killing babies, what's next?? Muzzling tigers so they can't hunt their prey? De-fanging sharks so they can't devour fish? Ruining Christmas???"

Then we calmed down a bit and took a closer look at the story: the baby's death was due more to the fact that his parents were under-feeding him in general, not necessarily because of their personal dietary beliefs. Vegans don't believe in consuming animal products of any kind (no cheese, no milk, no eggs; yes, we know, it would be hard for us to continue living too), a definition which apparently includes breast milk in this case. Lamont Thomas and Jade Sanders had been feeding their baby only soy milk and apple juice, and seemed oblivous to the fact that their son weighed only 3.5 pounds. That's not being a Stupid Vegan, that's just plain STUPID.

Even if you choose not to go the breast-milk route (even though there have been countless studies that have proven that good ol' titty juice helps all kids to grow up smarter, healthier, and appreciative of the wonderfulness of boobies), how hard is it to blend up some tofu and beans and make them into protein-rich baby food? Seitan already TASTES like baby food, for god's sake. Add some banana to the mix and it's like a fitness shake for infants! The Vegetarian Resource Group offers additional nutritional tips and recipes for pregnant and nursing vegans.

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The CDC has stated, however, that vegan mothers could be putting their babies at risk for neurological impairment. The ADA, however, maintains that a well-balanced vegan/vegetarian diet is totally fine for pregant and nursing mothers, as well as for growing kids, although B-12 and iron supplements are highly recommended.

But this still leaves questions in our mind, not only about breast milk (we're dying to know what it tastes like!), but about veganism in general. Los Angeles is teeming with veg-heads, so maybe some of you can enlighten us.

And while you're at it, can somebody explain the placenta-eating thing, too? Is is somehow related to eating duck fetuses? Because that is also confusing.