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Overheard in L.A.: Our Terrible Reasons For Going To Rehab

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This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features bits of overheard conversation from spurned actors, Runyon Canyon hikers and Whole Foods shoppers.

Overheard of the Week
"Passages Malibu looks so relaxing. Wanna go to rehab?"
via Rosie Styczynski

It Starts Young
8-year-old boy at Zara: "What the hell, mom?!! How can they only have 2 kinds of fedoras?"
At Westfield Century City via @tglovesLA

Oh, Gross
French former model: "It's a Buddhist Punk designer, very expensive label."
At an insufferable overpriced garage sale in Silver Lake via @EmilyBond27

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Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places
Produce guy: Can I help you find anything?
Woman: Yeah, these are all soft and tiny. I'm trying to find a big hard one.
Guy: (hysterical laughter)
Woman: (blushes, looks like she was going to die of embarrassment)
Near the cucumbers in the Whole Foods in Sherman Oaks via Lanee Neil

Whatever Works, Man
"Most people use electronic cigarettes to quit smoking real cigarettes, but I'm using the real ones to quit smoking the electronic ones."
On the windward circle in venice beach via B. Burke

It's Chill, Bro
"Dude, do you think it's okay if I surf during Ramadan? It's not like I wanna piss off Allah or anything..."
At the Americana at Brand via @ColonelCadaver

Our Small Talk
Husband: "Just picked up wine and chocolate at Trader Joe's, and the checkout guy asked if I was doing a cleanse."
via @marinaomi

Pitches That Need More Public Shaming
"Reality show idea: Men who send women relentless online dating msgs must read them aloud to a live studio audience."
via @HIGHzurrer

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Our Excuses
"I was reading this script with a guy I didn't like. That's why I didn't get the part."
At Fred 62 via @fauxamor

Oh, I'm Sure He Does
On recognizing James Deen: "OMG, I've orgasmed to him and he doesn't even know!"
via @MissRobinPhelps

Bravo!
"If you had to choose, what's your favorite treat?"
"BOOZE."
In the office via @srodrguez

This Could Backfire
"Go up to a Google Glass user, lean in and say 'google anal sex videos' and watch them freak out."
At Runyon Canyon L.A. via @GreenNewsReport

Sure, Blame It On A Planet
"Mercury is in retrograde right now. That's why I'm being evicted."
via @erinjennings

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Wise Therapist
"I looked at his Facebook, even though I know I'm not supposed to."
"You're not?"
"My therapist told me not to."
In Hollywood via @shewhodaydreams

Also, There Might Be Stray Gluten Particles
"I can't try this dip—if other people dipped their chip in, it's already contaminated."
At Whole Foods via @i_k_l

And He'd Love It
"Oh my god, if I saw Robert Smith I would have a nosebleed and die of happiness."
Overheard at Ross on 3rd/Beverly in the shoe section via Ross Meredith

Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)

Previously:
Overheard in L.A.: Our Dreams Might Be Shallow But At Least They're Our Own
Overheard in L.A.: Why We're Sleeping With Our Exes
Overheard in L.A.: Partly Sunny With A Chance Of Plastic Surgery
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Spotting The City's Jerks
Overheard in L.A.: Our Coachella Fantasies
Overheard in L.A.: Things That Remind Us Of The 405
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Passing Our Drug Test
Overheard in L.A.: Starf*ckers At Sundance
Overheard in L.A.: Why Being Beautiful Is So Important
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Gonna Get Famous
Overheard in L.A.: How Our Dreams Were Crushed
Overheard in L.A.: Places You Might Hear "YOLO"
Overheard in L.A.: Shit People Say At Auditions
Overheard in L.A.: Our Rule For Dating Porn Stars
And more!