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Overheard in L.A.: Our Rule For Dating Porn Stars

This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features (sometimes vicious) bits of overheard conversation from casting calls, Santa Monica and the story department.
Overheard of the Week
Guy: "I don't have issues, she only does lesbian porn for the most part..."
At a bar via @Choose2Live
At Least She Can Drive
"I'm like a unicorn—I'm a virgin who has never done weed."
via @CharTownsend
How To Sabotage A Corporate Coffee Chain
"Is that a smelly pen? Because if it is, it's going to wreck my whole coffee experience."
At a Starbucks via Dianne Chadwick
Reasons To Move Home
"If there's a nuclear apocalypse I'll probably move back to Tulsa."
In Jiffy Lube lobby via @Henlips\
On the High Seas?
"I'm taking my parrot on an outing 3 days a week now!"
At work via @SarahHeartless
Canine Psych 101
"I watched a show that said dogs don't experience jealousy, but I don't know. She seemed like she was."
via @riddlefish
Writers' Life
"The seasons are changing, I wanna decorate my apartment, get down on some pumpkin pie and spiced lattes, yo but I'm too busy with my script."
via @baynegibby
(Legal) Kids These Days
"Who makes a sex tape on an iPad?!"
via @MercadoSays
Lip Smackers
"Frosted lip gloss? San Diego's thattaway, ladies."
On Main Street in Santa Monica via @strattacaster
God Bless the 1970s
"I always thought it was "Bionic Woman!"
At Astro, as "More Than A Woman" by BeeGees via @KPCCofframp
WWLGD (What Would Lady Gaga Do)?
Dude: "I wasn't sure if I should go have Italian food because I'm also starting a cleanse this week."
via @charles_jensen
Dumbing Down Of America
"The only reason it isn't titled 'Misogyny' is that its target demographic doesn't know what the word means."
In the story department via @mernitman
Silly Question!
Him: What are you doing?
Her: I'm taking a picture of the line so I can Instagram it.
In Chipotle via @ThatChickCool
Getting In Touch With Our Masculine Side
"I really respect men more after the first time I wore a strapon. That's a lot of work!"
via @NDlaKasidie
Team-Building Exercise
"I wonder if he can hear my middle finger from here."
At work via @RorysHusband
YOLO
"She only tweets when she's high."
via @CineEdwin
Trends In Paternity
"Having an Egyptian father is so indie."
At a hipster coffee shop via @SammyLerner
OUCH
"She's too ugly to be outside."
At a casting call @DFTVYP
Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)
Previously:
Overheard in L.A.: The Endeavour Space Shuttle Edition
Overheard in L.A.: Our Obnoxious New Business Plans
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Spicing Up Our Love Lives
Overheard in L.A.:Why Angelenos Really Do Yoga
Overheard in L.A.: The Ugly Truth About Fancy Meals
Overheard in L.A.: Why We're Sleeping With Our Agents
Overheard in L.A.: How We're Ending Our Relationships
Overheard in L.A.: What Our Shamans Are Telling Us
And more!