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Overheard in L.A.: How We're Ending Our Relationships

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This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features bits of overheard conversation from coffee shops, church pews and the writers' room.

Overheard of the Week
Polyamorous significant other: "It's not you, it's us."
At a coffee shop in Silver Lake via @andresmloera

Ohmmm...
6-year-old girl to her mother: "Mom, be quiet! I'm trying to meditate. I need my meditating time!"
Mom: "Alright sweetheart, take your meditation."
At the Silver Lake Reservoir via @cookthisgetlaid

Walking Advertisement
"My 'power animal' is a Dyson vacuum cleaner that sucks up all the world's woo-woo."
In Brentwood via @avflox

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We've All Thought It
Man, talking to himself: "Ooohh, that's a funny thing to tweet."
At a coffee shop in Echo Park via @SweaTits

It Starts Young
9-year-old boy: "Daddy I want to be an art world insider when I grow up."
via @Whitehotmag

It's Not Quite As Bad As It Looks
Tourist to his gal: "What's with all the foot massage places in L.A.? Are they really massage places or just happy ending places?"
House of Pies parking lot via Alison Peters

Abstinence Increases Box Office Sales
"I'm not having sex with anyone 'till I see 'The Avengers.'"
At Santa Monica College via Christine Deal

Priorities, People
Model: "Chug it already so we can drink the Veuve."
At a photoshoot via @TheStylist

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Nice Try
"I wanna learn how to speak Braille."
via @shaydechelle

The Post-Effects Of Carne Asada Consumption
Person eating tacos and singing to the tune of AutoZone's jingle: "Get in the zone, tah-co zone!"
via @Arlsonbilliams

Ugh, Time To Go
"Nobody's naked, and everybody's sober."
At the Dyke March via @Girl_Genius

Jekyll of The Year
"I'm real popular. Just ask my other personalities; they say I'm number one."
At a psych office via @castor_yakut

Best Career Coach Ever
"You look that job right in the asshole, and you just take it."
via @MMarzola

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Close Call
"I was like ass-out, crotch-out. Thank God I have nude underwear on."
via @brixie19

Seriously, VIP Guests Only
"Who invited you to my fruit tart?"
via @JenFriel

Where's A Dog Whisperer When You Need One?
"You think dogs like hangin' out with hobo people more than regular people?"
via @ThisTweetHere

Make That A Double, Please
"I don't understand interventions, what's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink?"
via @2tall4u2

Good Luck With That
"I would love to experience an earthquake, but in a safe environment."
via @brettschulte

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#FirstWorldProblems
"At first I was like 'Yeah! Big ass apple!' and after a few bites, I was like 'Aw, big ass apple.'"
In the Grimm's writing room via @AkelaCooper

Let's Skip The Niceties, Shall We?
Person 1: "Yeah, so I met him and gave him the gay handshake."
Person 2: "What's the gay handshake?"
Person 1: "A blow job."
At dinner via @Mikeyfreshh

Yep
Black woman describing "The Blair Witch Project": "Some foul-mouthed white children lost in the woods."
At a store via @flubbermccubbin

Come On, Act Professional
A woman to her screaming 5 1/2 month old: "We're not on set right now. Knock it off."
On the bus via @chrisburdick

The Seahorse Apocalypse
"I feel like seahorses are gonna be the next new thing."
In Silverlake via @lorivoj

LMFAO Is Proud
Homeless man: "I'm sexy and I'm homeless."
On the Venice Beach Boardwalk via Eliza

Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)

LAist writers Valerie Chen and Amanda Schwartz contributed to this post.