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Overheard in L.A.: How We're Ending Our Relationships
Photo by stephenfalkvia the LAist Featured Photos pool
This week's edition of Overheard in L.A. features bits of overheard conversation from coffee shops, church pews and the writers' room.
Overheard of the Week
Polyamorous significant other: "It's not you, it's us."
At a coffee shop in Silver Lake via @andresmloera
Ohmmm...
6-year-old girl to her mother: "Mom, be quiet! I'm trying to meditate. I need my meditating time!"
Mom: "Alright sweetheart, take your meditation."
At the Silver Lake Reservoir via @cookthisgetlaid
Walking Advertisement
"My 'power animal' is a Dyson vacuum cleaner that sucks up all the world's woo-woo."
In Brentwood via @avflox
We've All Thought It
Man, talking to himself: "Ooohh, that's a funny thing to tweet."
At a coffee shop in Echo Park via @SweaTits
It Starts Young
9-year-old boy: "Daddy I want to be an art world insider when I grow up."
via @Whitehotmag
It's Not Quite As Bad As It Looks
Tourist to his gal: "What's with all the foot massage places in L.A.? Are they really massage places or just happy ending places?"
House of Pies parking lot via Alison Peters
Sponsored message
Abstinence Increases Box Office Sales
"I'm not having sex with anyone 'till I see 'The Avengers.'"
At Santa Monica College via Christine Deal
Priorities, People
Model: "Chug it already so we can drink the Veuve."
At a photoshoot via @TheStylist
Nice Try
"I wanna learn how to speak Braille."
via @shaydechelle
The Post-Effects Of Carne Asada Consumption
Person eating tacos and singing to the tune of AutoZone's jingle: "Get in the zone, tah-co zone!"
via @Arlsonbilliams
Ugh, Time To Go
"Nobody's naked, and everybody's sober."
At the Dyke March via @Girl_Genius
Jekyll of The Year
"I'm real popular. Just ask my other personalities; they say I'm number one."
At a psych office via @castor_yakut
Best Career Coach Ever
"You look that job right in the asshole, and you just take it."
via @MMarzola
Sponsored message
Close Call
"I was like ass-out, crotch-out. Thank God I have nude underwear on."
via @brixie19
Seriously, VIP Guests Only
"Who invited you to my fruit tart?"
via @JenFriel
Where's A Dog Whisperer When You Need One?
"You think dogs like hangin' out with hobo people more than regular people?"
via @ThisTweetHere
Make That A Double, Please
"I don't understand interventions, what's the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink?"
via @2tall4u2
Good Luck With That
"I would love to experience an earthquake, but in a safe environment."
via @brettschulte
#FirstWorldProblems
"At first I was like 'Yeah! Big ass apple!' and after a few bites, I was like 'Aw, big ass apple.'"
In the Grimm's writing room via @AkelaCooper
Let's Skip The Niceties, Shall We?
Person 1: "Yeah, so I met him and gave him the gay handshake."
Person 2: "What's the gay handshake?"
Person 1: "A blow job."
At dinner via @Mikeyfreshh
Sponsored message
Yep
Black woman describing "The Blair Witch Project": "Some foul-mouthed white children lost in the woods."
At a store via @flubbermccubbin
Come On, Act Professional
A woman to her screaming 5 1/2 month old: "We're not on set right now. Knock it off."
On the bus via @chrisburdick
The Seahorse Apocalypse
"I feel like seahorses are gonna be the next new thing."
In Silverlake via @lorivoj
LMFAO Is Proud
Homeless man: "I'm sexy and I'm homeless."
On the Venice Beach Boardwalk via Eliza
Our Overheard in L.A. feature relies on you to send us the strange conversations you overhear in this city. Send them our way at tips@laist.com. (In the e-mail, put "overheard" in the subject and tell us who said it, where they said it and any amusing context.)
LAist writers Valerie Chen and Amanda Schwartz contributed to this post.
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Right now, LAist has lost $1.7M in annual funding due to Congress clawing back money already approved. The support we receive before year-end will determine how fully our newsroom can continue informing, serving, and strengthening Southern California.
If this story helped you today, please become a monthly member today to help sustain this mission. It just takes 1 minute to donate below.
Your tax-deductible donation keeps LAist independent and accessible to everyone.
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