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Goop Hosts A Summit In Culver City, Because We Need More Reasons To Listen To Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow, the veritable queen of contemporary leisure-as-luxury lifestyle most recently exemplified by Amanda Chantal Bacon's Moon Juice empire, is hosting an "In Goop Health" summit today in Culver City. She announced the summit back in April and the $500-$1500 tickets immediately started selling out. Despite recently appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live to admit she doesn't know much about what the brand is teaching, the health summit is proceeding as planned.
The day-long symposium includes panels on how to find the best crystal for your emotional experience, the best floral salve for "whatever is ailing you," talks from Goop's favorite experts, and appearances from GP herself. The day has food from Erin McKenna's Bakery and sweetgreen, branded experiences via Bumble, and Instagram-friendly walls of plants. The main panels, according to an Instagram post from one of the attendees, include the "Gut Check," "The Tools," "The Mother Load" (a panel exploring the "mother wound" and how to re-parent ourselves), and "The Three-Way" (a panel discussing "orgasm equality and moving past sexual shame"). The whole day culminates with a celebrity-studded panel anchored by Gwyneth and featuring Cameron Diaz, Miranda Kerr, Tory Burch, and Nicole Richie, where the five women will discuss "managing all those balls." Balls, of course, referencing the elements of our lives we must "keep in the air," according to the labeling of the Goop "Balls In The Air" supplement protocol.
The speakers include Dr. Habib Seghadi, a favorite of Goop's. Dr. Seghadi is an expert on turning emotional experiences into metaphors around septic systems and buying a new car. He spoke to the group of attendees about "cosmic flow," reminding everyone that if you're "actually here, your life will change dramatically." "Here," being, of course, the present moment, because if not, he's suggesting your life will only change dramatically if you spend $1500 attending a Goop-approved conference.
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