The Hills Have Ewwwwwwws
6:51 - Some chick and some dude from The Hills grace us with their presence. Why are they here? Oh right, they're on a show that's on MTV. Notice the cross-promotion. Together, I will count them as 1 celebrity, and even that's stretching it. Total Number of Celebrities Who Have Visited the Blogghetto: 2.
6:49 - Johnny Depp wins Best Performance. Wearing a black blazer and jeans, he ascends the stage to a chorus of wild cheering and screams.
6:48 - Wait, now it's an actual commercial for Transformers. It's getting hard to tell the commercials from the embedded advertising.
6:46 - Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese, come out to present the Best Performance award. And they all happen to star in Transformers. What a coincidence.
6:45 - Sarah Silverman in her weird schoolgirl dress stands next to Andy Samberg, who's on stage for about two seconds before he's crawling on the ground or something.
6:44 - Andy Not-Samberg, the guy who won the Best Movie Spoof, comes into the Blogghetto. I refuse to count him as a celebrity. But I do ask how his film is a statement against tyranny. After his answer I still don't know. But I know that he thinks the warriors at Thermopylae and the passengers of United flight #93 are both heroes, and he somehow wanted to connect them in a movie. Also, he loves America, and he thinks 300 is the movie that will transform his generation. He may be right.
6:41 - Some college dude named Josh Greenbaum wins some college award, it is announced over a loudspeaker.
6:39 - I have no idea how people vote on a Best Movie You Haven't Seen Yet award -- Which publicist gave the most blowjobs? Which studio shelled out the most ad dollars? -- but surprise, surprise... Transformers wins. Just in case you missed the other 800 not-so-subtle plugs for Transformers during the awards show, Shia (pronounced sha-ya) makes sure to tell the audience the movie's release date: the 4th of July.
6:38 - Another improbable couple, Seth Rogen & Eva Mendes, are brought on to introduce Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet. He warns her, "I only make movies about impregnating beautiful women with my schlubby Jew Sperm." She squeals with delight, "I love schlubby Jew sperm!" Don't we all.
photo by Elina for LAist