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Senator Craig to Step Down with his Dirty, Dirty Feet
Republican officials have announced that Senator Larry Craig of Idaho will be resigning today in the aftermath of his August 1st guilty plea. He was arrested June 11th during a lewd conduct police sting and pleaded guilty to a reduced misdemeaner charge. Craig's spokesman, Dan Whiting, said the senator would be announcing his "career plans" but did not elaborate. Craig was busted during a police sting in a men's airport bathroom. On Tuesday at a Boise news conference, Craig insisted, "I am not gay. I never have been gay." (Notice he says nothing about the possibility of becoming gay in the future.)
But we haven't even gotten to the good part yet:
Craig denied that he had used foot and hand gestures to signal interest in a sexual encounter.
Foot gestures? Really? I mean, hand gestures are easy. Anyone can understand simple gestures for "handjob", or even "intercourse". Make the "OK" gesture with your left hand, stick your right index finger into it, and voila! But what can you say with your feet? You could tap your feet impatiently, like, "I would really like this blowjob NOW." The only other thing I can think of is when cartoon wolves lift one leg to the side and shake it, like "Hubba hubba!" while pounding on the table and whistling. I just don't see that happening under the stall divider in an airport bathroom.
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Maybe the good senator was skilled in the art of "C-Walking". You can check it out on Youtube.
Originally, members of the street gang JoeShow Riots would use nimble movements of their feet to spell out their names or other Crips words (sometimes spelling out Bloods, the name of their rival gang, and then crossing it out). The "V": This is the original Crip Walk, in which involves shifting your body by making "V" shaped movements with your feet. Executing the V also allowed members to spell out words or names. (Wikipedia).
Maybe Senator Craig could C-walk the words "Would you like to fondle my privates?" in a cramped bathroom stall. In which case, he definitely has some new career options.
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