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More Differences Between New York and L.A., Explained

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Ladies and gentlemen, if you needed to see another list of the differences between New York City and Los Angeles, the good people at Thought Catalog have compiled one for you.

Generally, these types of lists are written by New Yorkers, for New Yorkers, and can be boiled down to one fact that they deem irrefutable: L.A. SUCKS AND NEW YORK RULEZZZ!!

But this list, to its credit, is a bit more nuanced. It still smacks of New York superiority, but the bullet points never mention traffic (props to you, sir) and only gloss over what New Yorkers believe to be Los Angeles superficiality.

Even still, we take issue with probably nine out of 10 of these points. Let's take a look at a few of them, shall we?

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In New York, you’re only allowed to be an asshole if you’re interesting. You have to earn the privilege of behaving like a dick. In Los Angeles, however, you can just be a dick. No funny jokes or good personality needed!

I would argue that Donald Trump is a dick without being particularly interesting.

Los Angeles is the land of delusions. You can live your life thinking you’re the best invention since sliced bread and no one will question your self-importance. New York is different though. Living here basically entails being humiliated on a daily basis. It’s like being served a slice of humble pie over and over again. So even if you do develop an ego and start to think you’re the shit, there will always be something waiting to bring you back down to Earth.

Actually, living in the city that writers like Raymond Chandler, Charles Bukowski, Hunter S. Thompson and Joan Didion immortalized doesn't do anything great for the ego (...of a writer). Also, being humiliated isn't unique to New York. Cowboys who routinely get kicked by their horses are also sometimes served slices of humble pie. Don't flatter yourself.

The standards of beauty in L.A. are wildly different from New York’s. L.A. is all about looking healthy, refreshed and athletic. Juice cleanses (aka starvation), hikes up Runyon Canyon (three times in one day), and a natural tan (secretly produced in a tanning bed). Meanwhile, New Yorkers want to look they’re on the verge of death 24/7. To achieve this look, they make sure their skin resembles that of a corpse and flaunt their malnourished figure proudly. “No, honey, this body was not brought to you by exercise and kale…”
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Heroin chic is played out.

People in L.A. always say that they want to move to New York one day. “It’s been a dream! I’m just so jealous that you get to live there!” It’s as if New York is some untouchable entity that employs a lottery to decide who gets to live here. New Yorkers, on the other hand, constantly talk about leaving the city. “But I could never move to L.A., ugh. I hate it there. OMG, maybe San Francisco though. I’ve never been but I think I would love it!”

This one's weak, and not true. Why, just the other day I said to someone, "I COULD NEVER MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK." And guess what? I meant it. The big secret is that a lot of L.A. residents DON'T want to live in New York. That's, like, so 20 years ago. What there are a lot of are New Yorkers who know nothing about L.A. saying they wouldn't live here because they think that's the right attitude to take. Then there are a lot of people in L.A. who just kind of don't give a shit about New York, and let New Yorkers rant about their superiority while we enjoy the sun. And drink juice.