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Living In Sin: Proactivating Your Sexlife

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Sex is something that drives us, empowers us and gets us into really stupid situations with people we have no business seeing naked. Jen Sincero is the bestselling author and sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your questions (all are posted anonymously). Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed.

Dear Jen,
One afternoon I found myself waiting for your column to arrive in my inbox. Since that wasn't happening, and I like to be proactive, I went to your website to see what I could find. I was delighted to see that you host workshops and parties for bisexual and bicurious folks, but I was disappointed to discover that they are for "ladies only." I don't begrudge the bi girls their dick-free experimentation, but why don't you (or anyone else) host parties and workshops like this for bisexual and bicurious men, or for men and women together? Don't you think we bicurious guys could benefit from such events?
- Bisexual Man Seeks Same

Dear Same,
I would like to take a moment here to talk about merkins. For those of you yet to be enlightened, a merkin is a pubic wig. The thing that’s always baffled me about the merkin, other than how you actually put one on, is that it has a name. Naming something implies that enough people use it to warrant needing something to call it, but I recently polled 20 friends (and I have some special friends) and not one of them claimed to have ever used, or known anyone who’s ever used, a merkin. Meanwhile, the thingy you slip under a table leg to keep it from wobbling remains nameless, as does my 20-pound cat, The Big Guy.

There are countless examples of haves and have nots in our unfair world, and it's up to all of us to do what we can to close the gaps. To do my part, I'll try calling the cat Buick and see if it sticks, and hereby suggest that the great table equalizer be called a "weenit" so please pass it on. As far as your dilemma goes, of course I think you and yours could benefit from parties and workshops like mine, as could foot fetishists, furries, bondage enthusiasts, and people who like to dress up like babies, but honey, mama can only do so much for so many people. If you can't find what you need in your life, you have to get your fine proactive self out there and make it happen. Rally the bi-boys and get a list going, show me that there are enough of you who want me to step up to the plate and I will gladly get off my girl-focused ass. Or even better, get a space, fill it with people and ask me, or someone else, to host. Also, get on the internet - I know there are classes and events for the bisexual community. Just because I'm not doing them at the moment doesn't meant they're not out there. My girl parties came about because I got flooded with emails from women asking where to meet other women so you are on the right track.

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On that note, I'm having another party for the ladies this very weekend, September 8th, in Venice, CA. Details on my website. I always appreciate suggestions from my mighty fine readers so please keep it up and mebbe I have a party for you next, and shamelessly promote it on LAist, yes?