LAist Interview: 'Regretrosexual' Explores What Happens When Your Boyfriend Tells You He WAS Gay
So yesterday LAist heard from actor-comic Dan Rothenberg, who created the autobiographical play Regretrosexual -- A Love Story -- about telling his girlfriend Colleen Crabtree that he went through a two-year gay period in San Francisco. Today we hear her side of the story.
So, your boyfriend of six months tells you that he went gay for two years. How did you take it, really?
Not well. It’s actually very accurate in the play...At first I thought he was joking. When I realized he was serious…well, I had been involved with plenty to men who were just a bad idea. Also, I was nearly engaged to a man who is gay and that left me thinking that I was somehow not feminine enough to attract a straight man. This was the last thing I wanted to hear. I felt very betrayed.
So, I jumped to conclusions out of a need to make sense of it. I incorrectly assumed that he was seeing men at the same time he was seeing me. So, in my mind, not only was Dan lying to me about our relationship, but he has put me in danger of being exposed to HIV.
At this point, I left the restaurant and ran across the street to my car. And I was getting out of there…It was over. Dan followed me as I angrily threw my purse inside and slammed my door, locking myself out of the car. And I truly believe that this was a moment of divine intervention. I thank God that I was stuck there with Dan and had nothing to do but try to understand him. I love Dan even more for hanging in there at this moment, even when I was saying almost cruel things to him and it was becoming clear that if I couldn’t be a big enough person to understand and accept him that maybe I just wasn’t worth convincing. But, I felt this need for Dan to define his sexuality for me. You know… “How gay are you, Dan?” I was clinging onto anything familiar to make sense of all of it.