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Ice Cube Kicks Quentin Tarantino's Ass (In A Box Office Sort Of Way)

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I am in shock. Despite a ton of promotion, great reviews and legions of Quentin Tarantino fans, Grindhouse opened in only fourth place. That would be $3.4 million behind the "former ghetto rapper heads to the burbs" comedy Are We Done Yet? and only $1.5 million ahead of the "I'm Hilary Swank, and I've won two Oscars, so I can star in whatever piece of poorly conceived commercial dreck I want to" horror film The Crapping. Excuse me, I mean The Reaping.

Estimated Weekend Box Office Totals for the April 6-8, 2007
1. Blades of Glory - $23 million
2. Meet the Robinsons - $17 million
3. Are We Done Yet? - $15 million
4. Grindhouse - $11.6 million
5. The Reaping - $10.1 million
6. 300 - $8.8 million
7. Wild Hogs - $6.9 million
8. Shooter - $5.8 million
9. TMNT - $4.9 million
10. Firehouse Dog - $4 million

In case you’re wondering what the hell #9 is, it's The Weinstein Company’s clever experiment to see if they can trick Americans into seeing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. (Bob: Yo, Harv. Maybe if we use an acronym everyone will forget the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a totally played out franchise from decades ago. Harvey: Tubular idea, bro! But I think you're like totally confusing acronym with initialism.) It's also a half-hearted attempt to revive a moribund kids' franchise with slick CG. The TMNT were around when I was a teenager in the mid to late 90s and babysitting all sorts of turtle-loving little rugrats. I gotta think the kids these days more sophisticated. Aren’t they all born with RFID chips implanted in their necks, cell phones attached to their hips and a joystick for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City clasped betwixt their chubby little fingers? Were the teeming masses of today's youth crying out for another set of anthropomorphized animal superheroes, just different enough to feel new but recognizable enough to feel comforting? I guess so, because TMNT has earned something like $35 million in two weeks.

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What do I know? (That was a rhetorical question. Answer: not much.) I'm the kind of person who thinks it's a sacrilege that Escape from New York is A) being remade and B) being remade without Kurt Russell.

As always, props to Variety for posting the box office figures in such a timely manner.