With our free press under threat and federal funding for public media gone, your support matters more than ever. Help keep the LAist newsroom strong, become a monthly member or increase your support today.
This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Six SoCal Motels You Can Buy Right Now That Would Be Ideal For Starting A Cult
Do you dream of getting away from it all, checking out of your dumb life and starting your own cult? Well, do we have the real estate for you.
Here are six Southern California motels currently for sale that would make ideal breeding grounds for your next communitarian, vaguely spiritual living experiment! They could also work for family compounds or artists' colonies. Enjoy.
Spa View Inn, Desert Hot Springs
()
Support for LAist comes from
(Photo courtesy of LoopNet)
At $769,000, this 11-unit Desert Hot Springs motel is a steal and a half. It comes with a two-bedroom house, a one-bedroom apartment, and nine studio apartments. Good luck finding a two-bedroom house in Los Angeles for that price! There is also a BBQ area, a lovely pool, and a creepy indoor jacuzzi (set against a painted indoor backdrop of a mountain view). The indoor jacuzzi room will be perfect for cult rituals. Plus, the fact that there was a "69" in the price will be endlessly funny when you are all on mushrooms. There is also 132 degree natural well water and two dry wells on the property (not exactly sure how that works, but I think it will also make a lot more sense when the psilocybin kicks in).
Cost: $769,000
Buy it here.
Sands Motel, Barstow
()
(Photo courtesy of LoopNet)
Located about 115 miles northeast of Los Angeles, scenic Barstow is famous for appearing in the opening line of Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas ("We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold..."). This 14-room motel also has a three-bed, two-bath manager's house for you to live in, and is available through a lease-purchase option. The listing calls it "a life time opportunity to start a business with only a few thousands dollars," though we'd argue the real opportunity here would be the chance to make up a religion off the top of your head that could someday rival Scientology in scope and might. The property's location, smack dab in the heart of Barstow, close to the 15 freeway, outlets and well on your way to Las Vegas, also makes it ideal.
Cost: $550,000
Buy it here.
Sahara Motel, Desert Hot Springs
Support for LAist comes from
()
(Photo courtesy of LoopNet)
Are you looking to launch a cult that's less patchouli and more GOOP? Well, look no further than Desert Hot Springs' decidedly high-end Sahara Motel, where wellness can definitely be used as a verb and the lush landscaping will pair beautifully with flower crowns in your Instagram photos. Only ambitious aspiring religious leaders need apply, as it will take plenty of charisma to fill the 80-room (!) property with converts. Bonus points also go to the Sahara Motel for having the best single-sentence description we've ever read in a real estate listing: "Resort with 14 pool, spa, sauna, outdoor BBQ, church, single family house and theme park so on." And so on, amirite?
Cost: $10,000,000
Buy it here.
Ruta Motel, Indio
()
(Motel image courtesy of LoopNet, map via Google Maps)
There is something clearly amiss about the fact that the only photo of this listing is the sign. Like, not even an exterior shot. That said, it is a pretty great sign. Plus, the 13-room Ruta is a mere 3.7-mile walk from the fairgrounds where Coachella is held, making it ideal for Festival Season recruiting. Calling all Silver Lake Shamans!
Cost: $1,200,000
Support for LAist comes from
Buy it here.
Motel 29 Palms, Twentynine Palms
()
(Photo courtesy of LoopNet)
Situated on Highway 62 at the entrance to Joshua Tree National Park, this 10-room motel's geographic location practically screams spiritually journey. Four adjacent lots along Highway 62 are also for sale, leaving plenty of room for physical expansion once you're finished amplifying your mental horizons. Even the listing itself seems to know that great things can happen here: "Easy to manage. You can create your own business and be your own boss as you dream to do. Nothing can stop you."
Cost: $549,000
Buy it here.
Tokyo Princess Inn, Encino
()
Support for LAist comes from
(Photo courtesy of LoopNet)
Have you ever dreamed of owning a 26-unit, vaguely Asian-influenced compound right here in the San Fernando Valley? Great news, this is it. The Tokyo Princess Inn's EPCOT-y faux-Japanese architecture might be all kinds of #problematic, but at least it sets a clear precedent for whatever other hackneyed cultural appropriation your cult might desire to partake in! The property is also conveniently located near the 101 freeway on Ventura Boulevard. Potential followers could turn on, tune in, drop out here, and still commute to their day jobs in the morning! According to their website, the Inn was reportedly once owned and operated by a pre-fame John Wayne, though who knows if that is true.
Cost: $6,900,000
Buy it here.
At LAist, we believe in journalism without censorship and the right of a free press to speak truth to those in power. Our hard-hitting watchdog reporting on local government, climate, and the ongoing housing and homelessness crisis is trustworthy, independent and freely accessible to everyone thanks to the support of readers like you.
But the game has changed: Congress voted to eliminate funding for public media across the country. Here at LAist that means a loss of $1.7 million in our budget every year. We want to assure you that despite growing threats to free press and free speech, LAist will remain a voice you know and trust. Speaking frankly, the amount of reader support we receive will help determine how strong of a newsroom we are going forward to cover the important news in our community.
We’re asking you to stand up for independent reporting that will not be silenced. With more individuals like you supporting this public service, we can continue to provide essential coverage for Southern Californians that you can’t find anywhere else. Become a monthly member today to help sustain this mission.
Thank you for your generous support and belief in the value of independent news.
Chip in now to fund your local journalism
(
LAist
)
Trending on LAist
-
Yes, it's controversial, but let me explain. -
What do stairs have to do with California’s housing crisis? More than you might think, says this Culver City councilmember. -
Doctors say administrator directives allow immigration agents to interfere in medical decisions and compromise medical care. -
The Palisades Fire erupted on Jan. 7 and went on to kill 12 people and destroy more than 6,800 homes and buildings. -
People moving to Los Angeles are regularly baffled by the region’s refrigerator-less apartments. They’ll soon be a thing of the past. -
Experts say students shouldn't readily forgo federal aid. But a California-only program may be a good alternative in some cases.
Best of LAist