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Your Escalade is Not a Compact

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We were driven to whip out the digital camera when we found this Escalade parked in the compact spaces (note the plural) at the Glendale Galleria this weekend. At 7 feet, 7 inches wide, the behemoth Cadillac SUV is measurably larger than the cars the spaces were made for: it's 11" wider than a new VW Beetle and a full foot fatter than the Mini Cooper and the Honda Insight. Even Shaq wouldn't consider the Escalade small.

In our passive-agressive way, we were kind of hoping that seeing someone take a photo of his moronic parking job would prompt the guy in the car — who was hanging out, windows open — to move to a more appropriate spot. Didn't happen. So we figure, since his $60,000 vehicle gets just 13 miles to the gallon, he had coasted into the compact spot out of gas, and won't be able to budge until he can afford to fill up again.

Hmm, maybe it's time to invent a hybrid tow truck.