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You Still Have 2.5 Hours To Become a Minor Political Functionary!
Thanks to the most exciting primary season in years, there's been an understandable lot of talking about the process of selecting a presidential candidate, especially regarding Delegates, Super Delegates, and of course, Mutant Delegates from the sewars.
Unfortunately, there's been a kind of New Star Wars Trilogy feel to reporting on the matter; ponderous, boring, pretentious and narratively inconsistent, but somehow taking forever to get through. The general consensus seems to be that these Ancient, Mystical Sages wield untold powers to choose presidential candidates much like the Jedi Council chooses whether or not to let someone join their exclusive little club. And of course, just like in the shitty new trilogy, the general fear is that they're going to end up rejecting the most powerful candidate ever, who presumably will end up turning into a robot killing machine.
But what if, in fact, the Delegates were more like the cool jedi from the Original Trilogy, the kind that anyone with the just-so amount of moxy, talent and access to an X-Wing fighter could, with enough training, become? What if, in fact, even a worthless* little schmoe like yourself could actually become a Democratic Convention Delegate?
Well as California Fault Line reminds us today, you can! If, that is, you get your ass to a fax machine by the end of the workday:
If you'd like to be one of the thousands of delegates on the floor of the Democratic Convention in August, you have until this Wednesday, April 2nd, at 5pm to register as a candidate. Here's what you need to do...
1. If you don't know which Congressional district you're in, go here to find out (fill in your zipcode on the top left).
2. Download and fill out this form here. You'll need to let the DNC know that you'll be 18 by the time the Nov. 4th election day rolls around, and swear that you'll vote for your candidate at the Democratic convention.
3. Fax it in by Wednesday, April 2nd, at 5pm to (916) 442-5715. (Your name should be added within 24 hours to this list here.)
4. Tell all your neighbors who are registered Democrats and to come to your caucus location to vote for you on April 13th.
5. Be prepared to give a speech at your April 13th caucus.
...you're responsible for $2000 in expenses that come with heading to the convention...
Looks like you'll be having a ton of fundraiser BBQs this spring.
Anyway, stop reading this and go. LAist could use some of you in Denver.
*oh baby, you know we love you.