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Ultra Chaotic Water Catastrophe 2004: Angelenos Speak
It continues.Yesterday evening the barrage of hellish water torture began to fall down upon the innocents of Los Angeles county, trapping most inside in what some have called (some = LAist) "almost as bad as Hell, but not as hot, but really really darn scary."
Even though last week's Ultra Chaotic Water Catastrophe 2004 hit LAist like a ton of bricks, we did our part to inform Angelenos with a short list of steps that would (next time) provide them with a few "outs" when the acid-drops of pain once again fell upon this great metropolis. But as anyone can plainly see yesterday, today and tomorrow, nobody in Los Angeles ever learns...
(At Virgin Megastore on Sunset Boulevard: 4:43 PM, Cloudy)
Her: "It's so totally coming."
Him: "What's so totally coming?"
Her: "The deluge."
Him: "The deluge?"
Her: "Yes. The deluge."
Him: "Who told you about the deluge?"
Her: "I'm not kidding around, ****. I'm being serious. For once, maybe you can be somewhat serious about something as crazy as the soon-to-be-coming deluge."
Him: "Sorry. Okay, I'll be serious."
Her: "Thank you."
Him: "So, when exactly is this deluge coming?"
Her; "They never know. It's always up in the air. But they said it's coming. I should probably get home before it comes so I'm not caught out THERE, if you know what I mean."
Him: (Laughing) "Yeah. I'm sorry. This is one thing I just cannot be serious about."
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(And under the awning at Johnnie's PIzza on Ventura Boulevard: 6:12 PM, Sprinkling)
Her: "I'm afraid to drive home."
Him: "Why?"
Her: "Because. Look at this. It's everywhere!"
Him: "You have windshield wipers, right?"
Her: "So?"
Him: "So, those will save you."
Her: "I hate you."
People, people! It's during times like these that we must love our fellow man. For all we know, Angelenos around town could be getting soaked as we speak. People could be doing 360's in their cars. And somewhere, split ends are rearing their ugly heads.
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