This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
UCLA was almost overtaken by the Oregon Ducks today, but managed to rally back in the second half to win. I am no sports writer, and I'm not going to pretend to be, so this is how it went in my world.
UCLA turned the ball over what seemed to be about 9 billion times (actually 12) and were playing like molasses in the first half. They let the shot clock run down to 3 seconds at least 5 times, and then would take some half-assed shot that went nowhere. Kevin Love missed about 6 free throws in a row. People were getting really grumpy. Even the lady next to me who clearly knew nothing whatsoever about basketball (someone had to explain to her what the shot clock was) kept screeching "shoot a three pointer!" UCLA was down by 11. Everyone was sad. It started raining. Even God was crying.
I'm not sure what turned the game around. Most would say Westbrook, but I'm going to go with the lamest halftime show ever, presented by Snickers. Their "Anti-gravity team" (which clearly was not so anti-gravity that they couldn't help from falling over) came bouncing around trying to promote some 52 gazillon calorie bar. There was fake hair and springy legs. It was a mess.
Okay, so maybe it was Westbrook, who completely revitalized the team and the crowd, and as Stu would say, got Mr. Momentum wearing the UCLA jersey again. UCLA became the powerful and impenetrable team that we know and love.
The boys started playing some amazing D and held Oregon back as they made a run for the lead. Especially Collison. He was everywhere at once and wouldn't let a man past him. Or a woman. Or a duck.
Okay I don't know what happened with this photo. I think Shipp went into hyperspace and broke the speed of light or something.
Also a big booooooooooooooooooo to the refs who were making the worst calls ever. Collison was called for a foul because Porter tripped over the ball. The UCLA squad was getting hacked and no one was saying anything. This makes me angry.
Also the Ducks have their names on their jersey in what appears to be glittery black puffy paint. Maybe we should talk about how dumb that is.
No, let's talk about how Pauley is always filled to the brim with crotchety old grouchy people and smells like a retirement home on the graveyard shift. Some old guy yelled at me for cheering. He said "can you keep it down?" Um. Can you get it up? No? Didn't think so.
Then, when UCLA took what seemed like its first game lead EVER in the second half, everyone stood up and cheered. Everyone. Except for this lady, who started screeching "sit down! Sit down!"
I almost punched her, but thought it best just to remain standing given that she didn't have the will or energy to shift positions I figured she would probably turn to dust if I tried to touch her.
Oooh, did I mention RENTAL MAN was there? And he has a new outfit, which is different from his Dodger Stadium outfit and his Staples Center outfit.
And for the pervs out there: gratuitous crotch shot.
(Straighten that bottom leg, ladies, come on now!)
All in all, an awesome game. Collison led the team with 17 points and played all 40 minutes. Westbrook looked amazing in the second half, and Love came back from a slow first half to finish with 15 points and 11 boards. Four of the five starters finished in the double digits, and everyone was happy. YAY.
Oh right. Yeah, Oregon played too. I should probably say something about them. Um. They lost.
all photos by malingering for LAist
