Congress has cut federal funding for public media — a $3.4 million loss for LAist. We count on readers like you to protect our nonprofit newsroom. Become a monthly member and sustain local journalism.
This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Top 10 Things That Every Bachelor Should Have
()
Being a single man in LA is a piece of cake - as long as you have all the right tools.
Most men solely concern themselves with how to get a girl into his bed. If a guy is smart he will know what to do to keep her there, or make it easier for her to want to come back.
These are the Top 10 things which will keep that smile on your new girl's face and have her singing your praises to her friends the second she's able to flip open her phone.
Support for LAist comes from
10. Tampons. And pads. Even though the majority of the women that you will bring home have gone at least a few years of dealing with Auntie Flow, most women are in denial each month and "surprises" happen. Nothing worse than making out with a new girl, having her excuse herself only to ask to be driven home after she discovers she is suddenly unprepared. If you have a box of tampons and a box of pads not only will she probably take you up on your generosity but we bet that she will never forget you again. And if she challenges you, simply said that you were a good Boy Scout who took to heart its creed to "always be prepared."
9. Rope. And know how to tie knots. There are only a few things a man needs to know in bed. A gentleman who understands how and when to use three simple knots will appear just as worldly as a man who can order a meal in French. Know how to tie knots and you can speak any language you want.
8. A maid. Since you and your visitor(s) will be intimately exploring every inch of every room of your castle, make sure that the floors, the walls, the closets, and the corners are clean. Maids in LA are cheap. Invest often.
7. A new, sealed tooth brush. Let's say you meet Miss October 2005 and she comes over and inspects every inch of your apartment and drinks more than a few bottles of wine, and wakes up in the morning and let's say she wants to spend the morning and afternoon with you, and possibly even call over Miss August 2005. But she doesn't have a toothbrush, thinks that girls who carry one in their purse are sluts, but is super self-conscious about her morning breath. This $3 solution (or 99 cents at the 99 cent store) can buy you days of undeserved playmating.
6. A new, clean, unused, cheap brush and comb. Because even though you might think that her rocker chick bedhead is the hottest thing ever doesn't mean that she does. A girl who is allowed to primp properly in front of the mirror will vogue all over you all night.
5. Water, orange juice, Diet Coke. Every other guy goes for the quick score. May we suggest an alternative - the slow burn. If you can present some cold water, or a soft drink during half time, then you will have a recharged cheerleader ready to roll in the third and fourth quarters.
4. At least two dozen condoms. If you're not having safe sex with people you barely know, you don't deserve to be having sex in the first place.
Support for LAist comes from
3. Several totally different makeout cds or iTunes playlists. Not every girl likes Marvin Gaye or has pleasant memories for every Miles Davis tune. Be able to adjust with every whim. She may prefer Maiden over Mahler, or PJ Harvey over Prince. Nowadays there are really no reasons for a bachelor not to have a wide variety of music, so have it ready and be prepared to switch over to whatever your babe's whims may be and be open to her suggestions.
2. Eggs, bacon, pancake mix, milk, butter and know how to cook them. Miss October hates clothes. And it's raining. She wants to stay in your bed all day and watch football and please you in every single way possible. If you know what's good for you you'll let her dreams come true. The only way you could screw it up is to "run" to the grocery store while shes taking a shower and hear Lindsay Lohan leave a message for you on your machine. On Friday on your way home stock up. If you get lucky you'll be cooking for two. If you don't get lucky, you still have breakfast.
1. Clean towels, clean pajamas, clean sheets. You may have received a pair of pajamas just this week from Santa. Put those away for a rainy day. Miss July might dance with you on the roof of Standard tonight and it's romantic and crazed while peaking on E and downing red bull vodkas, but it's mighty cold a half hour later she's shivering next to you in the back of the cab. If you just happen to have clean towels, clean pajamas, and clean sheets back at your place, she just might take you up on the offer.
Photo by chishikilauren
As Editor-in-Chief of our newsroom, I’m extremely proud of the work our top-notch journalists are doing here at LAist. We’re doing more hard-hitting watchdog journalism than ever before — powerful reporting on the economy, elections, climate and the homelessness crisis that is making a difference in your lives. At the same time, it’s never been more difficult to maintain a paywall-free, independent news source that informs, inspires, and engages everyone.
Simply put, we cannot do this essential work without your help. Federal funding for public media has been clawed back by Congress and that means LAist has lost $3.4 million in federal funding over the next two years. So we’re asking for your help. LAist has been there for you and we’re asking you to be here for us.
We rely on donations from readers like you to stay independent, which keeps our nonprofit newsroom strong and accountable to you.
No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, press freedom is at the core of keeping our nation free and fair. And as the landscape of free press changes, LAist will remain a voice you know and trust, but the amount of reader support we receive will help determine how strong of a newsroom we are going forward to cover the important news from our community.
Please take action today to support your trusted source for local news with a donation that makes sense for your budget.
Thank you for your generous support and believing in independent news.
Chip in now to fund your local journalism
(
LAist
)
Trending on LAist
-
The union representing the restaurant's workers announced Tuesday that The Pantry will welcome back patrons Thursday after suddenly shutting down six months ago. -
If approved, the more than 62-acre project would include 50 housing lots and a marina less than a mile from Jackie and Shadow's famous nest overlooking the lake.
-
The U.S. Supreme Court lifted limits on immigration sweeps in Southern California, overturning a lower court ruling that prohibited agents from stopping people based on their appearance.
-
Censorship has long been controversial. But lately, the issue of who does and doesn’t have the right to restrict kids’ access to books has been heating up across the country in the so-called culture wars.
-
With less to prove than LA, the city is becoming a center of impressive culinary creativity.
-
Nearly 470 sections of guardrailing were stolen in the last fiscal year in L.A. and Ventura counties.
Best of LAist