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The Real Reason Becks Moved to LA

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You’ve seen it all day. We’ve seen it all day. We refreshed and refreshed as we waited for a new banner ad to appear in Yahoo’s top right ad space. No luck. So now, as we count down to an appropriate moment for Happy Hour drinking to begin, we must ask the obvious: What the hell is David Beckham doing on a white horse? Riding in to save the future seasons of LA’s own Galaxy? A metaphor that is a little too on-point in our book.

If you have the patience to watch the banner ad do its rotation dance, you quickly realize it gets worse. Scarlett Johannson as Cinderella. Fine. A bit of a stretch, but one we can handle. Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland, however, is where we draw the line. Especially with Lyle Lovett and Oliver Platt in tow. As text floats over their faces, highlighting Disney's "Year of a Million Dreams", we can't help but think it all seems a bit forced, even though genius Annie Leibowitz took the photos.

What do any of these stars have to do with Disneyland and the Year of a Million Dreams? Not much.The million dream march, which started last October and continues through 2007, offers guests the chance to win prizes daily. The mega-prize includes a stay in the Cinderella Castle or the Disneyland Hotel. In this day and age, it seems that wishing upon a star must actually include a (movie or international sport) star. Consider it Disney’s big push to increase park attendance at all of their Disney parks worldwide.

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We understand the need for advertising. We can see how attendance might be down as the kiddies these days are more into their gadgets than shaking a fake Mickey Mouse’s hand. We wonder, though, if Disney has chosen the most successful route. Do children (and childish adults) really dream about Becks on a horse? Perhaps we should ask the Galaxy what they dream about. We’re guessing it doesn’t include the white horse. The fire behind Beckham's head? Possibly. At the very least, consider this fair warning: the Becks branding machineis quickly gaining momentum.