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The Lindsay Lohan Guide to LA

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Hey Lindsay -- glad to see you back again this week.

LAist knows that you've had a crazy week and all with the release of your new CD, your somewhat mediocre cameo appearance on last weekend's SNL and you turf war with Hilary Duff. We know that with the holidays coming up and no Wilmer Valderrama to share it with, that the lonliness might be setting it. We're humans too, Lindsay -- we all have the same kind of emotions whether or not you know it.

So what does a single girl with lots of capital, a CD and a recently bad cameo on Saturday Night Live (read: she must have a sense of humor) do to fill in the emotional holes of her life? Karaoke, dear Lindsay. KAR-A-OKE.

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If you're going to be seen somewhere... If people are going to be taking pictures of you doing something other than getting drunk and smoking cigarettes you might as well give them a show. You might as well give them something they can put in the "Lindsay Lohan has a sense of humor" column. You might as well take the crew down to The Brass Monkey (3440 Wilshire Boulevard) where you can enjoy the dive-bar atmosphere and the hip/happening crowd lining up every Friday and Saturday night just to sing the latest Hilary Duff opus. Sure, we know that may grate on your nerves a little bit, but think of it this way -- now that your album is out, you just may hear how others believe your songs should be sung. Drunk.

Oh, we're kidding with you, LL. We're here for you and that's the only reason we're here and we're looking out for you in a way your parents and your friends aren't. Sure, they're telling you the album is great and you'll find another guy and you might as well concentrate on working for the moment but LAist is beyond that. We're telling you what to do, where to go, and how to have fun. And when you swing out to The Brass Monkey we know you'll love how the place has absolutely no attitude, really great drink prices (even movie stars want to build up a savings account) and a carefree atmosphere that makes even the most-embarassed willing to stand up and sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart." You don't have to thank us, Lindsay. Just embrace us.

Because here at LAist, we love you. Really.