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The Independent Spirit Awards: too dirty for primetime

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Yep, that's Felicity Huffman, and yes, she wins Best Actress at the Independent Spirit Awards. Think she's got a shot at the Oscar?

Sarah Silverman continues to knock it out of the park. And the attendees like her. "Finally there's an award show host that you'd wanna fuck," Kevin Smith says. He had a long dirty story to tell before announcing the best director winner.

Best Foregin Film goes to Paradise Now, the only of the foreign nominees we've heard of. It reinforces an unfortunate pattern: while 75 percent of the nominess for Independent Spirit Awards haven't been nominated for Oscars, they're not winning. The Oscar nominees are.

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Like these, all of which are up for Oscars tomorrow: Best Documentary is awarded to Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. Best First Feature: Crash, directed by Paul Haggis. Best Female Lead to Felicity Huffman for Transamerica. Best Cinematography: Robert Elswit, Good Night and Good Luck. Best Director to Ang Lee for a little picture called Brokeback Mountain. Best actor, Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote. And best pic goes to Brokeback Mountain.

Maybe the only award that didn't go to an Oscar nominee was the John Cassavetes Award, which was given to Conventioneers.

These unduly grumpy thoughts are interrupted by the sung intro to Capote, by Macy Gray and a trio dressed up in Capote-drag. Not as funny as Peter Gallagher, but the stage tableau is pretty good. One of the guys from Junebug (but not the O.C. guy, we don't think) and Zoe Deschanel and sing the Grease duet rewritten to intro The Squid and the Whale. Their awkwardness comes through, and it seems more awful than fun. Richard Kind hilariously sings the Good Night and Good Luck intro: it's the Beverly Hillbillies theme. Dwight Yoakam does a great job with his for The 3 burials of Melquiados Estrado.

A grant is given to a new pair of documentary filmmakers, but just one man takes the stage. His partner, Garrett Scott, died of a heart attack two days ago at the age of 36. Ian Olds memorializes him with a tremendous amount of grace. Immediately afterward two fiction filmmakers, Ian Gamazon and Neill Dela Llana, get their own grant and manage to be serious enough to follow him and funny enough to get the show back on its slightly giddy track.

When she gets her award, Felicity Huffman does all the icky agent-thanking and then tells an involved, terrific story about working on Transamerica and it ends like this: the key grip was working under crummy conditions, and said, "This fucking movie better win some fucking awards because it's a fucking pain in the ass." There you go, key grip Bob Izzo.

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Philiip Seymour Hoffman is just perfect, again. "I've been given enough," he says, "I really want to share this." Then he thanks his co-nominees. Will he do so again tomorrow? We're not sure, but we'll be watching.

The award for most insane presenter pairing of all: Henry Rollins and Rosie Perez. We think she could kick his ass.