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The A&E Report: Pardon My Pooch

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We here at LAist love animals, who brighten our lives with everything they do, from police dogs who bravely sniff out cocaine in airport luggage to goldfish, who obligingly die just around the time your kid gets tired of feeding them. We've seen enough sitcoms and movies of the week to know that sometimes all the crusty, loveless old curmudgeon down the hall needs to warm his heart is a gritty, slobbering face-lick from a newborn puppy. So we'd never begrudge anyone the company of his or her pet — well, unless we just stopped by the 7-11 to get some milk and the damn thing was yapping at us in the refrigerator aisle. That's where we draw the line.As wonderful as animals are, they have their place. The only ones we want to see in Fatburger, for example, are the ones sandwiched between our buns. That's because some people's love for their pets crosses the line into arrogance and entitlement, and they bring them absolutely everywhere. Frankly, we're tired of seeing unattended mutts dragging their leashes through the aisles at the Wherehouse or purse-sized pooches poking their furry heads out of handbags at Ralph's. And the last thing we need when we go to the video store is the judgmental bark of a Lhasa Apso as we glide casually into the adult section.

Look, the world didn't sign up to deal with your pet. And while shlepping them into the library with you is preferable to letting them bake in your car, how about next time you drop them off at home first and then go run your errands? Showing respect to your fellow humans should take precedence over showing off your beloved Chihuahua to the shoppers at Bloomingdale's. Unless you're at a dog park or a sidewalk café that welcomes pets, consider the fact that some of the people around you are bound to have pet allergies, or that no matter how well you groom Fifi and mani-pedi her paws, she's still not sanitary enough to be around food products. No one should be forced to break up a growling match between angry mutts at Citibank, so unless that toy poodle of yours has been trained by the Seeing Eye Institute, give us a break and leave him at home.

Otherwise, you're the one who belongs in the doghouse.