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The A&E Report: Garageside Gab Edition

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The A&E report would never be so bold as to suggest a complete ban on using cell phones while driving. LA wouldn’t be LA anymore if the guy next to you on the 101 wasn’t negotiating deal points on his script or the woman in the next lane over wasn’t breaking up with her long-distance boyfriend while merging in front of you. That being said, it doesn’t hurt to wear a headset, but this isn’t a column about safety either. It’s about arrogance and entitlement, and when your cell phone call becomes more important to you than other people’s ability to drive safely or get to work on time, that’s when we step in.

Here’s an A&E move we’ve all witnessed countless times: Mr. or Ms. Big Shot Important Person who’s driving in front of you is gabbing away on his or her cell until finally, they reach their destination. The problem is, they’re not done with their call yet, and they don’t want to pull into the garage and get disconnected. To the considerate person, the answer is obvious: either hang up and finish your call from a land line when you get upstairs, or just drive around the block a few times until you’ve suitably wrapped things up. But A&E drivers don’t take others into consideration. They just stop right outside the building, blocking a lane of traffic if need be, while they complete their oh-so-crucial conversation.

So while Princess Power Suit is chewing out her assistant over some effed-up lunch reservations or Chatty Charlie is coordinating with his wife about who’s going to pick up their kids from day care, you’re stuck behind them, waiting for a break in traffic to allow you to navigate around their arrogant and entitled ass. A line of inconvenienced cars might pile up, a huge traffic snarl might form, but still, nothing’s more important to them than their insignificant convo and their petty little life.

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So next time you see someone pulling the ol' Garageside Gab, don’t pull around them, pull alongside them…and honk really loudly. You may not get them to move, but you might just disrupt their life for a moment—and if you can do that, the rest of the world will thank you.