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Don't Tase Me, Br -- Oh Hey, What Is That Funky Tune?

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Shock the monkey indeed! One of the weirdest hybrid-electronics to come out of the CES is a personal tasing device -- that also doubles as a 1-gig MP3 player! So useful for those morning jogs, when you're fending off rowdy UCLA students and working out with the new Chromeo record! The MP3 player is actually a separate holster that you fit your taser into -- the whole thing fits comfortably into a pocket or purse, we're assuming.

They're also offering bright pink or leopard-print Tasers, presumably for the girl on the go who wants to match her outfit with her personal protection device. Clearly. From the TASER press release:

"These new product are a result of listening to our customers. Personal
protection can be both fashionable and functionable," said Rick Smith,
CEO and founder of TASER International. "The TASER C2 leopard print
design provides a personal protection option for women who want fashion
with a bite."
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What will they think of next? A power drill that deodorizes your home? A cell phone that doubles as an electric razor? A microwave that broadcasts your favorite cooking shows? How about an Uzi with a vibrator attachment -- take a minute to pleasure yourself while busting caps in fools' asses!