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Redneck Nation

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Us rednecks done won again! Those liberal media types has misunderestimated W for the last time. Yep, turns out people don't really care about issues after all, least ways, not real issues. Them Yankees and Californicators thought different, but they don't count. They ain't real Americans.

The real American people care about the onliest issues that relate to God and such: keeping them sodomites from marrying up (that's something that should only be for a man and woman that are second cousins, at least), protecting my right to go huntin' with an AK-47, and making sure that women get back to doing what they do best, which is birthing babies (even if their daddy is the daddy, heh-heh).

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Why, hell, it's all spelled out plain as day in the Good Book, jes like ol' Johnny Ashcroft says it is, and he's a Godly man, yes sir.

And W, well, God bless him, he's just done lots for this country. He got us into a war against the heathens over there in Eye-rack, which it was about time if you ask me. He cut taxes for old man Johnson who owns the mill I worked at. Yeah, Johnson shore was sorry to let me go, but he said as soon as he gets another round of tax cuts, and some more environmental regulation type relief, he'll be sure to hire me back. W's got ol' Osama on the run, too. That videotape where he looked all tanned and rested was proof positive that he's on the ropes, and we're winning the war on muslims - I meant terrorists, heh-heh.

Sure, there are some downsides. We got a mess of debt now, but that's the American way. Can't pay for something cuz you don't make enough money to make ends meet? Jes put it on credit! It's like the company store all over again, 'cept run by banks. Also, them Euro-homos don't like us very much right now, but truth be told, I could give a fig what them smelly cheese-eating weirdos think about us anyway.

And W don't either. He's one of us. A Godly man, jes as honest as the day is long, and a true American. We shore are lucky to have a man like him up there in Washington.

God bless him, and God bless America.