Will & Kate's L.A. Itinerary, Or: Where Not to Be This Weekend

The Royals are coming, the Royals are coming! Los Angeles is rolling out the red carpet for a British Invasion of an altogether other kind: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Newlywed couple Prince William and his bride Kate arrive this afternoon in L.A. for a whirlwind weekend of do-gooding and glad-handing.

There are no stops at theme parks, high-end shops, or flashy nightclubs for the young couple. Instead, the duo are making the trip (Kate's first to the U.S.) about charity and goodwill (and, thanks a lot, New York Times, not much time to meet some of the stereotypical asshats depicted in your pre-visit "story").

Will and Kate touch down at Los Angeles International Airport around mid-afternoon, where they will be greeted by our state's closest thing to a royal couple, Governor Jerry Brown and his wife, Anne Gust Brown. Their first stop isVariety's Venture Capital and New Media Summit, which takes place at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills. This evening, they're off to a gathering at the residence of UK Consul-General Dame Barbara Hay, in Hancock Park, which is where the couple will spend the night.

The next morning, it's a drive up the coast to the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club for a polo match. The $4,000 per person ticket price is a donation to charity. That evening it's back to L.A. and into the heart of Downtown, where Will and Kate are the guests of honor at a British Academy of Film and Television Arts dinner at the historic Belasco Theatre.

Sunday finds the Duke and Duchess at a "private breakfast with American patrons of Tusk Trust, an African conservation charity at an undisclosed location," says Beverly Hills Patch (though the LAPD say it's in...Beverly Hills). Then the pair are back in Downtown again, this time in and around Skid Row. They'll see a performance by students at a non-profit academy that provides arts instruction to children from low-income neighborhoods. Next it's a job fair in Culver City at Sony Studios for military men and women who are getting back into the workforce, and then it's back to LAX to head out of L.A.

It's a pretty exhaustive schedule, with no time worked in for sunbathing on our beautiful beaches, strolling the Walk of Fame in Hollywood, taking in the view from the Griffith Observatory, or posing with Mickey and Minnie at Disneyland--you know, the stuff our out-of-town guests like to do.

There's a lot of driving involved for the royal couple, and in some instances, that means our traffic will be affected by street closures and restrictions. The Culver City and Beverly Hills events will be orchestrated and handled by those local police departments, but LAPD have indicated there will be hard street closures for the L.A. events, which are as follows:

Friday through Sunday, Hancock Park:
Hard Street Closure on June Street between 4th and 6th Avenues

Saturday, Downtown:
Hard Street Closure on 11th Street between Broadway and Grand Avenue
Hard Street Closure on Hill Street between 12th Street and Olympic Boulevard

Sunday, Downtown:
Hard Street Closure on Kohler Street between 7th and 8th Streets

Angelenos won't have many opportunities to see, or mingle, with the couple, and that includes those Angelenos who make their fortune taking photos; the LAPD have set up strict rules aimed at keeping paparazzi at bay.

Welcome to L.A., William and Kate!