This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
This past weekend the fourth annual WIRED Nextfest was held at the Los Angeles Convention Center. Nextfest is the eminent world's fair for upcoming technologies, providing companies a venue to display their visions and ideas of the future.
And from what I saw, the future will be run by Beauty and the Geek castoffs. The event was filled with beautiful convention hostesses and and nerdy pimple-faced tech boys. Apparently deodorant will be extinct in the future, because everyone smelled really bad. So what did I learn about the future?
Albert Einstein will become Robocop.
Robots will replace DJs. Oakenfold was last seen manning the 1's and 2's at Burger King.
We will be playing pool on the moon.
LCD Screens will enslave us, and we'll be forced to watch re-runs of Rock of Love.
Due to global warming, cars will no longer have roofs.
Geeks will rule the world, and will continue to rely on gadgets to pick up hot chicks.
In the future, everyone will trip out on their lamps.
We will be able to watch a thousand episodes of MTV's True Life simultaneously.
And we will all dress like Spiderman...
