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Online Metaphor Saves Last Remaining Dead Horse Molecules, Humiliates Gullible Local Paper

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On March 17th, the LA Times published yet another article in its ongoing struggle to squeeze every last drop of blood out of the stone that once called itself Tupac Shakur. After an "in-depth" investigation into the Nov. 30, 1994 shooting/pistol whipping of Tupac, Times reporter Chuck Philips alleged, among other things, that Rap Mogul Sean "Puffy/Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Vanity Smurf" Combs might have had advance knowledge of the attempt on Shakur's life.

Puffy* was not amused and quickly issued a vociferous denial of any involvement. And who can blame him? No one wants to be accused of attempted murder 10 years after it would have done any good for their career, and for a week, the matter descended into a He Said/Washed Up Has-Been said situation the likes of which hasn't been seen since Scary Spice had pity sex with Eddie Murphy.

But today? Not so much:

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Last week's bombshell Los Angeles Times report claiming that the 1994 shooting of Tupac Shakur in the lobby of a Manhattan recording studio was carried out by associates of Sean "Diddy" Combs and that the rap impresario knew of the plot beforehand was based largely on fabricated FBI reports, The Smoking Gun has learned. The Times appears to have been hoaxed by an imprisoned con man and accomplished document forger, an audacious swindler who has created a fantasy world in which he managed hip-hop luminaries, conducted business with Combs, Shakur, Busta Rhymes, and The Notorious B.I.G., and even served as Combs's trusted emissary to Death Row Records boss Marion "Suge" Knight during the outset of hostilities in the bloody East Coast-West Coast rap feud.

In the aftermath of the Smoking Gun's patented debunkafying, The LA Times has more egg on its face than Humpty's favorite High Class Hooker, and today they've been forced to apologize with extreme prejudice. Not only for publishing easily disproved Falsehoods, but also for getting Puffy in the news again.

With luck, this might inspire the LA Times to Stop and think before they hit the self destruct button again. Turns out you might actually need that newsroom staff after all. The reputation they save may be their own.

Photos Courtesy of the AP

*I will never call him "Diddy."

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