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Oh It's A Dangerous World We Live In

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Completely by accident, Mr. Postman put this month’s issues of AARP in LAist’s mailbox. So, we decided before we returned it to our neighbors, we’d have a little look through. It happens to be their SUPER July/August 2006 issue. We know it just turned June, but then again when we were at an 11AM graduation this weekend, grandparents started showing up at 9AM proving they like to be early. So we sat down last night in the comfort of our homes, or crammed over-priced apartments as the case may be, and read about – well Colin Powell and the dangers of everyday things, like bowling or cleaning a fish tank.

It seems ironic or humorous or just plain frightening, but why does this magazine focus an entire section on risk? It just feeds into the stereotype that old people are paranoid. Don’t believe our ramblings. Fine, read below a box they included on pg. 74 entitled “Daily Dangers – Thought your routine was pretty tame? Discover how close to the edge you’re really standing – or sitting.”

Activity / U.S. Injuries Per Year
Brushing your teech or gargling / 3,925
Reading / 11.243
Barbecuing / 15,974
Stapling Paper / 15,974
Bowling / 17,916
Riding a stationary bike / 43,117
Bicycling / 534,883
Driving / 2,788,000

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How in the world do you injure yourself reading? Riding a stationary bike we can imagine, you could fall off, or get your shoelace caught in the pedal, but reading? And what are the extent of the injuries? It gets better, the next cute little box is entitled “Riskiest Places On Earth.” You'd be surprised. On newsstands now.