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Movies Are The Real World

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This weekend sees the opening of at least four new movies hitting theaters all across the Southland, and in surveying them LAist can't help but think how Angelenos could experience the same events in said movies around Los Angeles without ever having to pay a cent.

After The Sunset, stars Pierce Brosnan as a thief who, along with his girlfriend Salma Hayek, tries their best to take part in illegal activities and avoid getting caught by the law. Such criminal outsmarting-ness can, of course, be spotted on any weekend night inside of any clubs across this great land, as boyfriends and girlfriends pop some "E", smoke some dope or inject a variety of illegal substances via their forearms, toes and feet. Of course, some might say that any illegal activity that doesn't involve Woody Harrelson (which this movie does) is worth the consequences.

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The Polar Express involves young children, trains, bums and eerie little elves, which really, isn't all that different from a night at any of Los Angeles' Metrolink stations. There you can be sure to be asked to buy popcorn or magazine subscriptions from parentless children with oily hands, be asked for change from bums and small people, but fortunately never have to be stuck with an eerie image of Tom Hanks as a CGI Santa Claus -- which, in our mind, makes a night at a train station far better and less psychologically-scarring.

Seed of Chucky tells the story of Chucky and Tiffany (both puppets) who set out to wreck the shoot of a movie. Hmm. Although the Entertainment Industry is indeed filled with puppets who indirectly set out to wreck movies each and every day, LAist is pretty adamant about preferring to sit through a piece of tongue-in-cheek/steaming pile of doo-doo like this than spending any time with L.A. puppets who suck the creative inspiration out of anything and everything.

Finally opening this weekend is Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason which tells the story of a fat girl with a boyfriend whose old lover shows up to tell her that, yes, he still loves her even though she is fat and no matter how fat she is, he still wants to be with her. Yes, it's a scene you could catch on a daily basis at the Fox Hills Mall, the Beverly Center, or out at the La Brea Tarpits...but with a subtitle of "The Edge of Reason", LAist is somewhat curious to see if it surpasses the cheesiness of such movie subtitle classics as Speed 2: Cruise Control and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

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In the end, movies are the lifeblood of Los Angeles -- but they are also...Los Angeles itself. So the next time you're trying to decide about renting Shrek 2 or viewing the green nauseous post-Botox laides of Rodeo drive -- know that one will cost you money to see, and the other will simply require opening the door and walking outside.