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Microsoft's iPod Killer is just Filler

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So I’m going back and forth with my lady friend on AIM about what I should be for Halloween la noche pasada, here is the convo:

- I was Super Mario last time, and a sperm before that.
- Be an iPod. That would be cool.
- Can’t do it. It’s overdone.
- Yeah it didn’t feel original when I said it.
- Of course I could just be a Microsoft Zune.
- Being a Zune would be awesome. They have a launch party coming up in LA...
- Yeah it would but you know what, there would be that awkward moment when I’m at a party and I bump into an iPod ... and she’ll say “You’re so second-rate.” Then I’m forced to respond with “Yeah? At least I play for sure.”

For those of you who are out of the “know”, the Zune is Microsoft’s forthcoming “iPod killer” (pardon the excessive quotation marks). Microsoft is pretending that they can create a product with enough style to usurp the iPod. The iPod is the most prolific portable music device since the Sony Discman (or the Panasonic Shockwave if you prefer). Apple is not just a successful computer company; it’s also a leader in fashion. Microsoft trying to beat Apple at the fashion game is like Wal-Mart trying to set up shop on Rodeo drive next to Sax Fifth Avenue with Sax prices – even Beverly Hillians blinded by eyelift surgery wouldn’t fall for that crap.

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What market are they even targeting? Are there any joggers who haven’t been recruited by the iPod craze left? This could be a big case of really bad timing. It isn’t the first time that Microsoft has tried to copy a good idea by Apple either. It’s kind of like how a little sister will always steal your jokes but then fuck up on the delivery every time. Microsoft needs to stop stealing Apple’s good jokes or at least improve the damn punch line.

What kind of name is “Zune” anyways? The word has no definition when you say it; Zune takes up maybe half a syllable. Go ahead and say it out loud to yourself, "zooonh". It sounds like the utterance of a dying man. Actually, sounds about right then, doesn't it?

It sounds harsh but this is really just a rant. It's really important to have competition in the market but it would be nice to see a much better attempt instead of just another white rectangle with the Microsoft badge on it.

Photo by schroederx via Flickr