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Living in Sin: Wanted, model-types
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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice for LA's sexually curious. Now you can see her column in print in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
Dear Jen,
I'm 20 years old and consider myself straight. However, I go to an all-women's college that happens to be full of hot lesbians, and I've been thinking more and more about experimenting, but feel like I'll have to do the whole "coming out of the closet" thing. Also, when it comes the type of girls I like, I realize that I am a total womanizer! I tend to be completely shallow, only interested in stunningly beautiful, fashionable, skinny girls. Coming from a feminist, these thoughts scare the hell out of me. I feel like I don't deserve to tryit. But since it's just experimentation, and most likely purely sexual, is this so bad?
- No Fat ChicksDear No Fat Chicks,
I personally cannot think of anything that would dry me up faster than feeling I had to argue my sexual platform to a university full of women after my very first cross-campus walk of shame. You will psych yourself out faster than you can say "girls gone wild!" if you saddle yourself with so giant a task. Right now you're merely looking to rent an apartment, not buy a mansion, so let's leave sexual politics alone and focus on getting you some hot supermodel ass.
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The key here is to be sure of yourself, because if you're fine with who you are, you will be rubber, and anyone with an attitude will be glue. Here are some thoughts to re-connoiter your perspective:
1) Everytime you hook up with anyone it's an experiment, so defining it right off the bat is a big fat waste of time.
2) Broadening your sexual horizons is a beautiful thing.
3) Plenty of lesbians who've slept with men still call themselves lesbians.
4) You're attracted to who you're attracted to.
5) Plenty of people have passed on sniffing up your skirt because they weren't attracted to you, and they weren't worried about being bad feminists.
6) Chasing after chicks with hairy upper lips isn't going to make you a better feminist, just a dishonest one.
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As I've learned from the bumper stickers on many a Volvo, "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people." Why then are we portrayed as marching around in itchy wool socks with frizzy hair and permanent scowls on our faces? I'm a feminist, all my hot and smartypants friends are feminists, yet should someone say, hey, "I'm going to a party with a bunch of feminists, wanna come?," my fight or flight instincts would kick in just as quick as anyone else's. Talk about a word that needs a serious face lift! You and I have both fallen prey to this nasty perception - I propose we forgo the feminist fists for a more, "I dig my fine feminine ass and am going to make sure she gets exactly what she deserves, emotionally, financially, and sexually," attitude. And if what that means for you is nailing only supermodels, then so be it. Real sexual equality allows for all types of attraction, and as long as everyone involved is enjoying themselves, who cares what it looks like?
photo by camila.martins via flickr
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