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Living in Sin: Turning Back the Hands That Grope

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by Jen Sincero (who is having computer problems today)

Sex is something that drives us, empowers us and gets us into really stupid situations with people we have no business seeing naked. Jen Sincero is the bestselling author and sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your questions (all are posted anonymously). Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed.

Dear Jen,

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I have recently been hooking up with some cool guys on various gay cruising websites and some of them may actually be boyfriend material. How do guys go from having been naked and doing the wild thing to dating? It seems like running from third base back to first. Do you bring the topic of dating up directly? Or maybe just let things happen naturally?
- Looking for a Permanent One Nite Stand

Dear Looking,

It's really weird that you wrote this when you did because I just returned home from hanging out with a friend who was showing me his various profiles on three different gay dating sites. He's using two of the sites specifically for hookups, and another for his boyfriend hunt. I asked him the same thing you did - what if you wind up having an emotional connection with the guy you met on feedmethatass.com or whatever it's called? And what is it exactly that happens when your face is buried in his ball sac that makes you think, "hmm, this guy would make a great father someday?"

According to him you just know. And apparently it's perfectly normal to backtrack, to treat a rowdy session of 69ing as a friendly meet and greet while saving the heavy stuff, like exchanging names, for later.

I even know someone who met his soon-to-be boyfriend at an ass-eating contest in San Francisco. They were strangers sitting next to each other at a heated competition, and when the MC offered up the stage to the next willing contestants, my friend looked to his right, saw a hot guy, asked him if he'd showered that day, and off they went. Not only did they wind up together for the next four years, but they came in first place (which is nothing to sniff at, considering they were in the Ass Capital of the world). Clearly some magic happened on that stage that even the judges couldn't deny, and luckily for them, they went with it.

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So next time you're lying there in a sweaty, post-coital daze watching him put his shoes back on, tell him you'd like to see him again. Ask him if he'd be interested in dinner and a movie or a stroll through the park. He'll either be into it or he won't - it's really no different than asking out anyone else. Except for the blow job part.

kickass photo by Lush.i.ous