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Jen Sincero is a musician, sexpert, and the author of the bestselling book, The Straight Girl’s Guide To Sleeping With Chicks and the semi-autobiographical novel, Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer. She currently hosts a weekly sex talk radio show called Dr. Happypants on killradio.org.
Living in Sin is her weekly advice column for LA's sexually curious, confused and constipated. Got a question for Jen? Ask her. We promise to be discreet (all questions will be posted anonymously).
Dear Jen,
I've been on a few dates with a girl who has only dated women in the past. Sometimes she's really interested in my company, and other times it seems like spending time with me is the last thing on her mind. Up to this point I've been trying to blame it on her inexperience with men, but since I think I may really like her, I've been afraid to talk
to her about it for fear of rejection.
Is it possible for lack of experience to produce a situation like this? Is there anything I can do to understand how she really feels about me?
I'm going to go ahead here and point out that you're acting a little girly, so it doesn't surprise me that Ms. Muffnstuff has chosen you to spearhead her first foray into the men's room. A few dates are a few dates too few to be analyzing her feelings for you, and definitely too soon for an "us" talk (unless she's being rude to you, and then it's time for a "you no gonna treat me like poop" talk).
You need to take some time to get to know her, and for her to get to know you, because at this point, much like a smiling baby, her motives are still a mystery (could be love, could be gas). Put more time and energy into your relationship, and if she's still acting squirrelly down the road, ask her what's up. Rejection or no rejection, at least
you'll know where you stand.
As far as her sexuality goes, I understand your concern, but god forbid we all had to reveal our dating histories every time we went out with someone new! I'd have guys wringing their hands under the table, worrying that their criminal records weren't big enough to satisfy me.
At this point, all you have to go on is the fact that she likes you and wants to date you. Which is nothing to sniff at. If she eventually decides that she wants to be with women, another man, her hand, whatever, worrying about it this soon is a big fat waste of time.Got a question? Ask Jen.
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