Living in Sin: Too Close for Comfort
Jen Sincero is a sexpert, musician, and the author of the bestselling book, The Straight Girl’s Guide To Sleeping With Chicks and the semi-autobiographical novel, Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer. She currently hosts the weekly sex talk radio show Dr. Happypants on killradio.org. Every week in Living in Sin, Jen provides advice for LA's sexually confused and curious.
Got a question for Jen? Ask her. We promise to be discreet — all questions will be posted anonymously.
Dear Jen, I am 21 and have been with my soon-to-be husband for 8 years. His sister and I got drunk a couple of weeks ago, and she told me that she'd like to experience sex with a woman. I think she was trying to figure out if I was game, which I am, because I've always been attracted to women. Plus she is unbelievably hot! My problem is that a week later she told me, "I was so drunk that night that I don't remember what I said to you!" First of all, should I feel bad for wanting my boyfriend's sister? And second, how can I get her back to those feelings without scaring her off?
My goodness, where do I even start with this one? With your doomed marriage? Your questionable taste in women? Your improper placement of the phrase "my problem is"?
Unless you're a fundamentalist Mormon, or from some other culture where little girl children are forced to marry their uncles and such, why would anyone choose to be with the same person from the age of 13 until death do you part? It just sounds so fun free. Especially when, eight years and a couple tequila shots into it, you're in the market for a little in-law cest?
Please, do not marry your boyfriend. At least not right now. You need to get a few more experiences under your belt, and ladies in your pants, before you settle down. Signing up for a committed relationship at this point in your life would be unfair to both him and you.
Please, do not sleep with his sister. There are countless other unbelievably hot ladies who would love to get all naked and wiggly with you. Even when they're sober. Plucking mates off the same family tree is just asking for a shit storm of drama. Plus it's mean. If you're subconsciously doing it to sabotage your commitment to your boyfriend, there are far more graceful ways to bow out.
Please do sleep with a girl, a boy, a toy, a football team - whatever your fabulously filthy little mind finds appealing. You appear to possess a rare and beautiful openness to new experiences that would be a shame to waste, and that could lead to resentment down the road if unexplored. Let yourself live a little. Then, if you and your boyfriend decide to pick up where you left off, you'll be doing so as a much more well-rounded and self-actualized person.