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Living in Sin: That Rigid Penis Problem

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Jen Sincero is a musician, sexpert, and the author of the bestselling book, The Straight Girl’s Guide To Sleeping With Chicks and the semi-autobiographical novel, Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer. She currently hosts a weekly sex talk radio show called Dr. Happypants on

Living in Sin is her weekly advice column for LA's sexually curious, confused and constipated. Got a question for Jen? Ask her. We promise to be discreet (all questions will be posted anonymously).

Dear Jen,
My girlfriend digs girl on girl porn. She's never had sex with another girl and swears she has no interest in doing so, yet she finds the images rather arousing. As one who possesses a penis, this is a bit difficult for me to comprehend. If I got turned on watching a couple of guys blowing each other, I'd figure I was gay. Does it work differently with women? Can you get all hot watching that and yet not have any interest in taking part in it?

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You are correct, it is precisely your possession of a penis that prohibits your comprehension. Certainly there are women who don't "get it" either, but I'm very sorry to report that an alarming percentage of the straight male population has been coerced into believing that dude on dude action is gnarly, or strictly a homo thing (whereas two straight chicks going at it gets a hearty round of high fives). Why is this? Let's put your penis down for a moment and see....

Men in our culture are under a ridiculous amount of pressure to be "masculine." I put this in quotes because the common definition and my definition are much different. I believe that guys can sport a skirt, cry, and yes, stick things up their butts (even wieners!), and still be masculine, but the widely accepted definition is much more rigid. And a lot less fun.

The fact that this conditioning clouds one's understanding of titillation is depressing. Here's the thing: what turns you on and what you take action on are often two totally different things. Be you male or female. I one time watched these two dogs go at it and thought it was kind of hot, but I wasn't out cruising the dog park the next day looking for love.

So if you were turned on by a couple guys blowing each other, it could just mean that you got turned on by a couple guys blowing each other. Period. Fantasy and reality are two different beasts, and since you can't get sent to prison for anything that happens in the former, I strongly suggest you let your filthy little thoughts run wild.

Got a question for Jen? Ask her.

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