Living In Sin: Squeeze Me Please

Sex is something that drives us, empowers us and gets us into really stupid situations with people we have no business seeing naked. Jen Sincero is the bestselling author and sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your questions (all are posted anonymously). Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed.

Dear Jen,
Could you explain what a light hug means? There's this woman that I've been making friends with slowly. She's in a situation that will be over with next month and really can't do anything until then, so whenever I see her, which is sporadically, she will give me a light hug. What I mean by that is it's almost not touching, with no real, full hug, occasionally followed by a peck on the cheek. This started I'd say about 2 months ago and I started making friends with her about 4 months ago.
Maybe I'm making too much out of nothing, but I really like her and I'm afraid to ask her why she never does a full embrace like most people. Am I missing something, or should I just stop trying to find something where there is nothing?
- Hatin the Hug

Dear Hug,
I went to the movies the other day and sat next to this guy who was a giant sucking thing. He wasn't actually that big of a person, but his energy was Godzillan. Suffocating. Everywhere. To make it worse, he was leaning in my direction, sitting all up on my side of his seat and his meaty arm was taking up the entire arm rest. I felt like if either one of us coughed he'd wind up in my lap. I don't know if he wanted himself a piece of The Jen, or if he spreads out, blob like, everywhere he goes, but I had to move to another seat. I couldn't concentrate on the movie with his very thereness so very there, regardless of why he was doing it.

Everyone has their own way of being in the world, and there really is no way to know why they do it how they do until you get to know them. There are people who insist on kissing you on the lips every time they see you (these people are never, ever attractive and they always have wet lips). I've also met people who hug like the drowning, shake hands without bending their fingers, kiss the air, talk two inches from your face and one lady who meets all physical forms of greeting with a cute little, get-the-hell-away-from-me wave.

I have no idea what your friend's Hug Lite means - it could be much the same as Blow Job Lite, which for some announces a lack of skill, a fear of choking, exhaustion, lack of respect for the body attached to the penis, undiscovered lesbianism, etc. Or it could be like Calling You Back Lite, Monogamous Relationship Lite, or Safe Sex Lite.

There is no way to tell what anything means until you get to know her better. Because there is no way in hell you're asking her. Not because the idea of it scares you, but because it reeks of obsessive neurotic behavior and she will no doubt catapult you back into Hug Free status if you do. So knock it off. Continue to get to know her, stop wasting your precious time nitpicking at details and make sure next time you see her that you give her a big fat snugzilla of a hug. If that's the kind you give, of course.