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Living in Sin: Searching for the big O

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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice for LA's sexually curious. e-mail Jen your question, which will be posted anonymously.

Dear Jen: I'm a healthy 21 year old woman and I've never been able to have an orgasm with another person. I've been sexually active since the age of 16, but no matter who I've been with or what position I've been in, I can never get there! It's so frustrating!!! During oral sex is the only time I get close, but it never happens, and it's not like I'm holding back. I've experimented with both men and women (I prefer men), but nothing seems to work other than my trusty vibrator, and I'm getting really tired of having to replace the batteries. WHAT IS WRONG? Is it me, or are the guys not doing something right?

You know when you're all snuggly and sleepy, tucked into your bed like a little hamster, and your lover gets up to take a leak while you lie there, bladder exploding, wishing he could go for you? It's a lot like having an orgasm - you may want someone else to do it for you, or you may roll over and pretend everything's fine, but when it comes down to it, your orgasm is your responsibility. It's your dog to feed. Yes, other people can assist, but you're still responsible for showing up, and sometimes for bossing them around.

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photo by rubynila via Flickr