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Living In Sin: Kick Out the Cling On

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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. You can see her column in print in the LA Alternative Press, or have it sent to you every week by signing up for her newsletter. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.

Dear Jen,
I finally got the guts to go on my first girl-girl date. It started out really well, but then she kept wanting to drag the date out, and when we went back to my place, she didn't want to leave. The date started out on Saturday at noon, and ended on Sunday at 4:45 pm when I finally kicked her out. Are all lezzies like this? Please. She cancelled a date with another girl to continue to be with me on Sunday! And cancelled a trip out of town this weekend, thinking that I will want to spend more time with no thank you. I feel like I've had a year long relationship with this chick, and it's only been two days! How do I drop her without feeling like she'll have a nervous breakdown?
- Desperately Seeking a Nice Way to Dump Her

Dear Nice,
Um, I'm trying to think of something clever to say here, but I just can't. And I'm trying not to be too harsh, but this is such a ridiculous letter. Unless you were handcuffed to the radiator with a rolled-up sock taped in your mouth and a rifle in your ear, I don't understand why you were on such a long date with someone you had no interest in hanging out with. I can see having trouble getting rid of someone for, say, an hour or two, but you let it go on for nearly thirty hours? And now you're trying to blame the entire lesbian population for it?

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Since I can't think of anything clever to say, I'm going to point out some of the clever things you said: