Living In Sin: I want a girlfriend, Daddy, and I want her NOW!
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. Sign up for her newsletter and have it sent to you every week. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
I'm a 32 year old lesbian and I've been single for most of my life. I really want to meet someone, but I can't stand going to bars and almost all my friends are straight. I get set up on dates every once in a while, but it's usually just with some girl who happens to be queer, not who happens to have anything in common with me. My straight friends mean well, but it's getting frustrating.
I also don't fit in to the lesbian community so well, what I know of it. I'm not political or very "lesbian identified." I'm just a woman who likes other women. What can I do to put myself in a better position to meet someone without making myself miserable?
- Fish out of Water
I know what you mean. I really want to get in shape, but lying around in bed playing with my stomach roll is so much more my style than doing sit ups. I'd also like to have a buttload of money, but work? What the hell? Bore Ing.
Everyone has to do things they don't necessarily want to get what they want. Who ever said finding someone to love was going to be a barrel of fun? And why is it your friends' responsibility to do this for you?
Get off your lazy, Bring-Me-Some-Hot-Lesbian-Booty-Now ass and go find yourself someone. Take some classes, go out for a beer, do some volunteer work, get online and, most importantly, stop whining. Your straight friends are better lesbians than you are - at least they're out there meeting the queer ladies. Find out how they do it. And next time they bring back someone you're not interested in getting all snuggly with, try being friends with her instead. Or friends with her friends. You have a much better chance of meeting a girlfriend if you hang out with your tribe. Writing off the entire lesbian population as too political or too lesbian identified or whatever you've decided they are is a very convenient way to keep yourself single and miserable. Stop your sobbing and get on with it, woman!