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Living in Sin: Hot and Bothered at the Office
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually curious. You can see her column in print, too, in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
I started a new job two months ago and met this guy who I had incredible chemistry with. We flirted pretty steadily for the first couple weeks, and then one day after work, he just blurted out that he wanted me to go home with him. Which I did, and it was great, but that was three weeks ago and it's been really awkward ever since. He won't talk to me, makes a point of avoiding me, and I hate that I have to see him everyday. Especially since I want to sleep with him again. What should I do?- Business Booty
For starters, you should stop making really stupid, irresponsible decisions. Then you should work on your self esteem issues and try to figure out why dickheads who treat you with zero respect are so sexy to you. Then you might want to avoid him, focus on your work, stop letting your inner whore call the shots, get over it, and learn not to poop where you dine.
I know this, because I've done the same, dumb thing.
I have a theory that if you stick two people with the same sexual orientation (two gay men, a hetero man and woman, etc.) in a room, and keep them there for a long enough period of time, some degree of sexual tension will float to the surface. I don't care how mealy-mouthed and beady-eyed they may be, if they're in the room with you, day after day, someone is going to let loose a pheromone or two. Could be a big stinker, could be silent but deadly, but it will be there, lingering in the air, regardless of whether or not you'd be caught dead actually sleeping with that person. Because it's not always about having sex, but more about making a subconscious nod to the fact that that person has a sexual side. That sex is in the house, if you will.
That's just my theory. And I bring it up not because I've had sex dreams about nearly everyone I've ever worked with including the mouth breather from human resources, but because I want you to know that your situation is not unique. In your case, the feeling was mutual, but feelings come and feelings go, and if you're going to see someone 40 hours a week, every week, every month, all year long with only two weeks vacation, I suggest you call off the horn dogs long enough to see if there's something good there. If there is, proceed slowly and maturely, otherwise going to work can become a much harder job.