Living In Sin: Flirting Fiancés
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. Sign up for her newsletter and have it sent to you every week. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
My best friend's fiancé flirts with me all the time. I hang out with them a lot, but every time she's not around, he crosses the line. He'll do things like tell me how pretty I look, or say things like, "I was thinking about you the other day and then you called. It was so weird." Why was he thinking of me? And he says it with this knowing look. A flirty look.
The problem is, I'm really attracted to him and would love to date him if he wasn't with my friend. He's funny and smart and at this point, I'm as good a friend of his as I am of hers. I would never do anything to screw up my friendship with her, but this has been going on for a couple months now and I'm worried something bad is going to happen. Should I tell her what he does? I'm worried if he ever made a move I wouldn't be able to resist either. I don't know what to do.
- Hot For My Friend's Future Husband
Someone needs to give you a serious spanking. Actually, someone needs to give you a couple of them. First of all, what the hell are you finding so attractive about some jerk who flirts with his fiancé's best friend? And what makes you think, should he suddenly step on her neck to get to you, that he wouldn't turn around and do the same thing to you with somebody else?
The thing that's so annoying about your letter isn't that you're having these naughty feelings - who hasn't ever lusted after a friends' boyfriend or indulged in an occasional flirty poo with a married man? It's that you're pretending you don't know what to do. You want to bone him, clearly, and you want to pretend you don't know how to avoid having this happen.
Do please give to me a break.
If you're serious about your friendship with this chick (are you?), next time he mentions how fetching your breasts look in that sweater, tell him to knock it off. He'll deny that he meant it in a sexual way and accuse you of being an egomaniac, but he'll also stop flirting with you. It also wouldn't be a bad idea to try and hang with just her for a while until you get your attraction for him out of your system. Either that or you can fuck his brains out, screw over your friend, fall in love with his oh so witty and intelligent self and freak out when your new best friend (for you old one will be long gone) develops a new affinity for tube tops whenever he's around.