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Living In Sin: For the Love of Feet
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Sex is something that drives us, empowers us and gets us into really stupid situations with people we have no business seeing naked. Jen Sincero is the bestselling author and sexpert with the carnal knowledge you need. Ask her your questions (all are posted anonymously). Cuz there's no such thing as being too good in bed.
Dear Jen,
I recently learned that a good friend of mine has a foot fetish and I’d like to learn more about it. Here are some of my questions:
1. What is a fetish?
2. What are some fetishes besides foot fetishes?
3. How does one get a fetish?
4. Is it wrong, bad or weird to have a fetish?
5. Is there any connection between having a fetish and addiction to drugs or alcohol?
6. Can a person who has a fetish ever truly have a sexual relationship with someone who doesn't have a fetish or who doesn't share their enjoyment of said fetish?
7. Why do people keep fetishes a secret? Why do people need to be ashamed about being attracted to feet (for example)? Why is this considered a bad/weird thing by society?
8. Once a person has a fetish, does it ever go away or does it increase and/or morph into other fetishes?
Thank you.
- Friend of the Fetish
Dear Friend,
A good friend of mine is into fetish too, and I, like you, was compelled to find out more about it. You know, to be a good friend. So I went on this personals site called bondage.com and set myself up a profile. That was where she’d met her boyfriend, the one who attached clothes pins to her labia and made her sleep in a body bag and stuff, and she said it was one of the best.
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Alrighty, let's see. Question number one: Are you into Acrotomophilia (aroused by amputees)? Acrophilia (turned on by heights)? Agalmatophilia (hot for statues)? Branding? Brown showers (give)? Brown showers (get)? I hadn't heard of half the stuff on there, and when I got my purity rating (how kinky are you), I only scored a 67% - 0% meant you were Kinkzilla and 100% meant you were Snow White. I couldn't believe it. Here I thought I was all badass, and by common test-taking standards I'd basically failed. So, as any model student would, I went back on and attempted to up my score - yes, yes, I could see how using a chamber pot instead of a toilet could be hot, yes I absolutely could - but in the end, when I got mighty real, I had to admit it. I'm a 67%. And I'm okay.
Here are some answers to your questions. In my humble, 67% opinion:
1.) A fetish is a condition where sexual arousal is achieved through objects, actions or "non-sexual" parts of the body.
2.) See above.
3.) This is a large question. Some theorists say fetishes come from early associations with sexual stimulation. Freud said they're linked to fear of castration. Personally, I think you could develop some interesting ones just by living in the right neighborhood in San Francisco. Here's a good, eyebrow-raising article I found on the topic: http://www.oldandsold.com/articles09/sexual-emotion-54.shtml
4.) Please. This is a free to be you and me column.
5.) No, but I bet a lot of fundamentalist types would like you to think so.
6.) If the fetish is important to them, I'm going to say no. It would be like marrying someone who didn't like to have sex if you did. Or being with someone you weren't attracted to. You could stay with them, but it would be quite the snore.
7.) Because society is a dumbass.
8.) Anything is possible when it comes to fixations - for example, I've had a lifelong attraction to guys with speech impediments, but no longer find guitarists with severe marijuana habits attractive. Same goes for fetishes. And having one fetish doesn't necessarily lead to another, but it can give you exposure to others simply because in the fetish world, things often overlap. For example, you could go to a fetish party in search of feet, witness someone running around in a diaper for the first time and get totally turned on. I had no idea! Or not, but how are you supposed to know if it's hot or not if you've never seen it?
I think your curiosity about your friend is fabulous, and who knows, maybe it'll lead you to some discoveries of your own. Hmmm? Maybe you're a 56 percenter just waiting to happen?
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