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Living In Sin: Cootie Catchers

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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. You can see her column in print in the LA Alternative Press, or have it sent to you every week by signing up for her newsletter. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.

Dear Jen,
My husband and I have been talking about having a threesome with another woman for a while now. We don't have any friends that we can do this with, so it would have to be with someone we don't know. We're both STD-free, and don't want to catch anything from this one night of fun sex. How do we find out if a potential bedmate has anything nasty down there without offending her?
- Mr. and Mrs. Clean

Dear Clean,
I realize I talked about Ted Bundy just last week, but for some reason he's heavy on my mind these days. Did you ever read that book about him called "The Stranger Beside Me"? It was written by this woman who sat next to him answering phones for the Suicide Hotline (yes, when he wasn't whooping it up at the sorority house with a crowbar, he was saving lives. Ain't life grand?) She was an ex-police officer, and was trying to crack the case, along with the rest of the country, of the crazy freak with a touch of The Angers towards young ladies with long hair. Meanwhile, there she was, sharing take-out Chinese food with him, night after night, at the crisis center.

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My hair would still be standing straight up if I was her.

I'm just guessing, but I'll bet that if you asked him, before he got busted, if he'd violently murdered over thirty women, Ted Bundy would have huffily denied it. And you would have happily believed him, because he was hot and charming and had nice clothes and stuff.