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Living In Sin: Blowing Smoke

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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually confounded. Sign up for her newsletter and have it sent to you every week! Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.

Dear Jen,
I'm having this crazy affair with this guy at work. He's married, and that, along with the fact that we do it at the office, during work hours, makes it really taboo, which I guess makes it even hotter for me. I could lose my job (that I love) and ruin his family. I know it's really stupid, but I can't seem to stop. It's like I'm addicted to everything that's bad about it. What can I do?
- Bad Girl

Dear Bad,
Um....stop doing it? Or keep doing it and stop pretending you want to stop? I'm not really even sure what your question is here. It sounds more like a confession to me, like you feel that because you're admitting you know it's wrong, you're somehow less guilty, and can now get back to leaving your ass prints on his filing cabinet with a clearer conscience. Nice try.

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The other day I took a hit off what I thought was a regular old joint, but what ended up being weed with a little tobacco rolled into it. I was an avid smoker for many moons, but haven't touched a cigarette in over five years because I want to sit through a movie without being distracted half way through by nicotine tugging on my sleeve. And I'd also like to live and exercise and not speak like Tom Waits and stuff. I still crave them all the time, even have wet dreams about them, but can't have so much as a drag because I'll be up to a pack a day instantly. When I took a hit off that joint, every single solitary cell in my body stood up, fist in the air, and shrieked "hell yeah! We is home!" I was flabbergasted, instantly wasted, and couldn't believe how something so bad could feel so so so damn good. Sigh.

Lungs, life, a great job, integrity - all things worth not being a butthead for. If you want to stop doing something, all you need to do is stop. There really isn't as much mystery around this stuff as we like to pretend there is. But if a butthead you must be, at least be a butthead quietly. Don't make it worse with passive attempts at justifying it.